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What I would give for a free bandwidth limiting program that works on Windows. I'm so close to just completely disabling the wireless internet 'till Naomi comes down here and asks what I did, so I can say "Set your bandwidth speed in uTorrent to low, and keep it there, or you won't be getting back on the internet", and being done with it. This is absolutely ridiculous.

But first of all, so many things have just up and hit me at once now I just feel overwhelmed. Without further ado...


Josh was talking earlier tonight about how he plans on going back to college in September or something, and will have to move back to London to do so. He asked me if I'd be interested in going there with him so I could finish the computer programming course I started here at St. Clair so long ago. I... just don't know... I want to say yes, purely because being in London, I'd be in a much more ready position to go to the furmeet again, but that's a very poor reason, and just no. And also, I can't believe I'm even saying it, but despite having already taken a year of it, I can't possibly picture having some sort of job involving computer programming for a good portion of my life. I mean, while I do have a sort of interest in it still, it's like that's it.

Anyways, from what he was saying, there's some apartment he had in mind, the college, and a Taco Bell (God forbid) all within walking distance, so it'd work out well.

I suppose one of the reasons I always get so stressed out when these sorts of things come up is that they make me realize just what little I'm doing with my life. I realize I should do something about it, but then I can't figure out where to start.

So I'd tell Josh no, but then he'd go to my parents and say "I made this proposal and he said no what do you think", and I really don't want to get into the whole "Stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong" stuff, and even after that, I'd be left with a feeling of "So when am I actually going to do something with my life?"

Ugh. I hope to God he doesn't bring it up in the next couple days, lest I say something I can't take back. I realized a long, long time ago that things are much easier to deal with on a day-by-day basis, but in cases like this, what happens when you have to think about long-term plans?

Of course, lord knows I won't get any helpful comments on this either, but it's been that way for the past couple months, so...

The other problems are just standard fare, namely Naomi sucking up all the bandwidth, getting my hopes up that I might have seen my tail yesterday morning, and Adam acting like a little kid when it comes to IMVU and MSN and such.

It's mostly what Josh said that was really getting to me though, so it's time to close this cut.


Work tonight was extremely frustrating, not only because it was busy, but also because I was getting a bit stressed out from having to steam more or less nonstop orders for several hours, but instead of asking if I wanted to go out and sit down for five minutes, Josh and Manoah instead decided to poke fun and continually say things such as "Calm down". Teresa (some new girl) stayed 'till ~11 just so we could get the store cleaned up, but ended up being on line with me half the time and back doing dishes for the other half, and while on line, made things very frustrating.

So tomorrow night it's me, Manoah, and Michelle, and I'm going to say right now I'll be on drive through, which'll be a nice change.

It's 5:40 in the morning right now, and I want to try to stay up 'till 10 again, because of course EB Games would not have gotten the game in yesterday, and I'm going to play Guitar Hero II because this just isn't working.I feel like just curling up in bed and crying ._.

How did I come to be in such a pitiful state?

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