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Sorting my Thoughts

Ooo. So much stuff's going through my head right now I can't even think of where to start writing. How about why I'm feeling relieved. For the past 48 hours, almost all my time awake was occupied by one main think. Worrying about Kari Si Sharikan. If you read this Kari, please don't say you're not worth the trouble again, because you know what I'll tell you, and I'm sticking with that. What I'm happy about is that right now, he no longer wants to die. In our conversation on MSN, he said that that's how he feels right now, but there's still a chance of something happening in the future. I said something to the effect of focusing on the present, and not worrying about the future. I think that was the right thing to say.

With him wanting to delete his LJ, I understand why he wants to now, and I'd probably want to do that if I was in his situation. Put what's happened behind you, close the door and lock it, and never, ever look back. I wouldn't be able to express how much better I'm feeling now, without randomly pounding on the keyboard :P

Speaking of keyboards, I found a rather pointless yet interesting thing a couple minutes ago. Project Dolphin. At first it sounded like an attempt at a Gamecube emulator to me, but it's actually a key counter sort of thing. It counts up the keystrokes you make. Pointless, like I said, but still a neat thing. At the end of this paragraph, I'll have pressed almost 1300 keys :o

This weekend's going to be fun for me. As far as I know, everyone except my sister's going to be heading down to London to see Josh, and then I'll be staying the night there with him. He just got Halo 2 today, so I can imagine what we'll be doing most of the time. I'm gonna be getting picked up around 9 in the morning since I've got to be back by 11 for my band practice though.

Owowowowow. I just checked our free hard drive space, and we've got just a bit over 20Gb left. That's from an 80Gb drive, and before you even assume it, no, half of it isn't taken up by pr0n. The only thing related to that is two URLs I found in the URL dropdown list in Firefox. Someone, and I'm assuming my brother, tried to go to 'boobs.com' and 'bigjugs.com'. The stuff taking up most of the space is games and music. Then I found some online game called 'Mir 3'. I don't even know what it's gonna be like, since I had to click an ad on gamefaqs to get to the site, but the initial download alone is 639Mb.

The rest of the week's pretty much free for me in regards to volunteering. I forget exactly where Michele is going to be, but I think at some Area Administrator's meeting in Toronto. I got there just in time for the volunteer meeting today, and one of the things we had to do was tell everyone what we were doing, etc. Mine was something like this "... continues to update the P2P canvasser spreadsheets, and do miscellaneous jobs around the office. He has made two volunteer recruitment posters that are at the front of the building." Everyone else's was two or three paragraphs long :P

After the meeting, Michele asked me to make up another banner for the message board, and one for the board over the photocopier. Originally I had made one for the message board that said "[Picture] Message Center [Picture]" I had to change it to "[Picture] What's Happening? [Picture]" Then something was wrong with the printer settings, because the printout wouldn't look anything like it did in the print preview. The one over the photocopier says "[Picture] Info Board [Picture]". Before I showed the rough copy to Michele, I'd accidentally typed "Info Broad" :P

That's gonna be about it, since my Dad wants to use the computer at 8:45. One quote before I'm done though ;)

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<twohitcombo> i finally replaced my gay wireless keyboard that had a laptop style key layout with no keypad <twohitcombo> and i bought one of those logitech ones with a hojillion buttons that dont work without the drivers <twohitcombo> but evidently it has a 'fuck everything up' button that works fine with out them
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Comments

*sighs deeply* If I knew I had you so worried still...Dammit I guess I will just keep my muzzle shut for now on. All I do is make others worry about me and I am not worth it. . .
Did you read the rest of the paragraph? I said I was worried before. That's not to say I don't still worry about you some now. Until I know for sure that you're feeling better, I'll keep worrying, and as hard as I try, I don't think I'll be able to stop.

Why do you still say you're not worth it? You know what I think about that, but yet you continue. Every time I see you say "I'm not worth it", it hurts me a great deal, because it makes me think I've been no help at all so far.
*sighs* Why do I say I am not worth it, because it it true. I am not worth the worry or the efforts of "anyone". All I do is cause pains or problems. All I do is end up pushing away those that did care, and those I cared about as well.

I am sorry if it hurts you, you have tried to help, just like many others once did as well. And yes at times it did help me. I just never told you or them enough I guess, and I am sorry *sighs*.