August 25th, 2010

"To Hell and Back"

Maybe I'll get a better sleep tonight. I wasn't in a terribly great mood upon going to bed, but was still quite certain that because it was so late, I'd have no problem falling asleep and staying that way until 4 in the afternoon. How very wrong I was. Looking back now, part of the problem may have been the temperature in my room, but even so, each time I woke up it literally felt like I'd been to hell and back. It sounds so dramatic, doesn't it? Seriously though, multiply the fatigue you experience after spending a whole day engaged in some strenuous task by ten, then add feeling positively exhausted, your entire body aching, and feeling as if you were going to be sick to the mix. The first time I woke up, I opened my laptop just enough to check the time, and could be sure it was only 8. 8am, when I'd laid down at about quarter to, and felt like I slept for at least two hours in between. The second time I did the same thing and it was 9, except I took the time to check my emails and torrents, because I was positive I'd find something of vital importance in one of the two. Did I? Of course not, but I would end up repeating the same series of actions again at 10, but that time, instead of going back to sleep I got up and went to the bathroom so I could look at myself in the mirror and prove that I was still who I went to bed as. It sounds weird, but I'm being quite honest. Continuing though, since I was finally up then, I turned my air conditioner on before laying back down in bed, which seemed to help things somewhat. I remember waking up at least once more at noon, to no avail just like with all the other times, but then I slept through to 4:30, but my dreams were no more pleasant than they'd been before. I can't remember very many details of them now though. Both took place in my room, with one starting just as I woke up (in the dream, of course) and looked down at the floor to see several small, perfectly spherical balls with intricate patterns carved into them, and in the other, had a secret drawer / compartment in my bedside table, in which I stored a coiled object that must've been extremely important, because I kept checking back to make sure it was still there.

And what do I blame for all this? My story. The part I mentioned not liking (which is an understatement at any rate) last night has been addressed now but wasn't then, so I sort of want to say the whole theme behind the dream(s) was me changing into how I'm depicted there. Not having a reference doesn't help matters any, but it doesn't seem like an entirely bad way to be. However, if life that other way was as I dreamed of, I don't think I could live with it for very long. Or maybe I'm reading far too much into this. I've had my fair share of disturbing dreams before, and they all passed very quickly. Since I've mentioned it though, the story is currently the source of some difficulty. It's shaping up to be longer than any of the others they have written, which is bad not only because there's another commissioner waiting, but also because they want to ask for extra money, but also don't, because I brought it up before and they said that wouldn't be necessary. On the good side of things, I was given the opportunity to suggest story expansion pricing, but on the bad, I've thus far only extended the offer that, if it should become an issue, I'd be willing to pay for their other commissioner's story in return for their patience. I want to see it through. The author wants to see it through. Now this other guy just needs some incentive to wait a bit longer, if they're at all getting impatient right now.

It seems a funny coincidence that if I do go through with that, it'll be another $40 I'm spending. It started with Manoah wanting to borrow $40, then withdrawing that much at the bank tonight to give Mom gas money, and now soon to come is a visit to Money Mart where I'll be putting, yes, $40 on my card, after which Manoah should be paying me back $40, and that should finally be it, although there's a slim chance I'll spend that exact amount on foodstuffs at Real Canadian Superstore in a couple days. I need cereal, pop, and Mr. Noodles, along with jellybeans from Walmart and random snacks from Dollarama if I decide to visit either of those places as well. It definitely helps that I'm getting paid ~$540 this week, but 40 dollar charges with such frequency will add up pretty quickly.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that I don't plan to go anywhere tomorrow. Not with my debit card, that is, and I have only enough cash to buy a couple donuts from Tim Hortons or something. Although I could also go up the street to Harvey's again and buy another poutine, since I learned they're only $3.79 tonight, but no, I can't do that. If I were to, it'd become a regular thing, and I can't afford, both in terms of money and in regards to weight, to be eating there at least once a week. In any case though, I've been everywhere and done everything I plan to for tonight. Maybe tomorrow I'll finally finish leveling up the rest of my party in SoulSilver (I've been using the second-lowest experience modifier code for some reason), and there's also some new music I want to put on my PSP. And I need to fix it as well, because it fell to the ground from quite a height at work the other night, but yeah. I have a list of things to start off with, and that's an excellent place to be done this entry~