November 16th, 2010

Something Else to Buy

Well isn't that just a surprise. I just pulled my giant tail down from my top bunk to brush it, since it fell off when I was moving my bed to the other side of my room, and guess what? The brush is nowhere to be found. Not the first time, and if I could be bothered to go get it back it certainly wouldn't be the last, but it still proves that people are going into my room when I'm not here, and that is mildly annoying, especially of late with their Christmas gifts from me in here, but they are thankfully not out in plain sight, and even if they were to find them, they'd only be spoiling the surprise for themselves. At any rate, it's about time I bought a brush of my own. Something simple like this, and as a matter of fact, I just did. Only $5.25 which, with the way things are looking for tonight, I'll end up spending two or three times as much than on food and other snacks later.

Among my other obligations for today (dishes, responding to a couple emails, etc.), I have until Dad finishes taking a shower to write this entry, from where he'll be taking me out to KFC to get a Double Down for Adam since it's his birthday, and then a couple hours after that, I have to go back out that way again, to see Manoah, Orlando, and Brandon. I've already talked about the former two, but to reiterate, Manoah owes me $20, and Orlando owes me ten. Both of them said I'd get that money when they got their checks as well, and mine came in the mail today, so it's only fair to assume they got theirs as well. Then as for Brandon, he just called, and at first I thought Orlando had phoned in sick or something and they were looking for somebody else to close, but no, he (Brandon) just wants to borrow $200 until we get paid. Two hundred dollars. Until we get paid, in less than two days. Sure, he may have some other more urgent need for it, but given the timing, I'm assuming he wants to go out drinking or somesuch. Although the amount is nearing exorbitantly high, so I think it's about time I set a limit as well. No more than $200 per month unless we have a good rapport and I know you'll pay me back as soon as possible. Such as Manoah, who still owes me $820 right now, but I'm only using that as an example. I trust him, in the sense that if he decides to try and run off with my money his Mom and sister still know what's going on, and I like to think he wouldn't do that anyways.

Getting away from the money topic though, just a few quick things to build on what I started writing about yesterday. The idea behind solving a majority of my problems is to deal with why I get envious and / or insecure, as opposed to the things I get upset about, right? After some thinking about it, I'm pretty sure the main thought that led me to that "point in my life" was wanting to be unique - wanting to be the only person like me in the world, and setting aside that I already am, in a sense, it's like I just didn't know where to stop. I still don't know where to stop, honestly, but I am unique. It's the noticeable, physical characteristics that I was after though, of course, and just as much with them, I'm starting to realize that I need to stop basing who I am off of who other people are. I do still like being the odd one out in a group or a crowd, but that's a completely different matter entirely. Although I will admit I am somewhat concerned about being this into changing myself right now because it's new. I said the same thing before about changing my views on friends, yes, but that was written in what might as well have been an altered state of mind. I don't want to have a big, huge social circle and always be talking to somebody or making plans to hang out with somebody else on such and such a night. I like my privacy, and I like to be alone, but I like having a few close friends just as much.

Anyways, Dad is certain to be out of the shower soon, so I'm off to get ready and at least put this tail back on my top bunk in its un-brushed state. It'll be a couple weeks yet before I get that brush, but it can't stay on the floor that whole time~