December 22nd, 2011

I Don't Want to Leave

Technically I don't leave for another day and a half yet, yes, but this trip has turned out to be just what I needed again. I've forgotten all about life back at home - what work is like, and that Trish and Ericka are probably back already, and that Christmas is coming up in only a couple days, to give some examples. Thinking about work is kind of interesting, because seeing it for what it really is, instead of what it feels like while there is completely different (at work, the job may be annoying and / or second-hand, whereas looking on it now shows me that those things are my job, and therefore what I'm being paid to do, and properly), and it might feel more like Christmas if there was even a little bit of snow on the ground, but as far as I'm concerned, it's still mid-November. Christmas is coming up on Sunday one way or the other, but it feels too early. That being said though, I am comfortable here. This may not be my home proper, but for the past week, it has served as such. Did I think I was still seen as a guest here, I likely would've had more qualms about taking Dan's keys and heading out with only a brief explanation that I wanted to go to Dollarama, and a couple other places on the way back, but I don't feel that way. Dan told me the other night that he likes having me visit, which I believe I mentioned in here, Xion said not to be a stranger, and we've definitely been interacting more this time than ever before, and Bungee, well, he hasn't been here all that much, so I can't really say. What is worth noting though is that while he was here over the weekend, he still seemed friendly enough. Not like before, obviously, and he still does these little "Mrff!" things at all of us that I assume he expects a response to, but only gets a blank stare from me, but that's quite fine. I suppose what I'm trying to say in the end is that I like being here, but perhaps it's well enough that I head back home on Friday, because I've pretty much gone through the money I had saved up (the cash), and all good things must come to and end, lest they become commonplace and less-enjoyable as such.

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To end this for tonight, I have another story to tell about something that happened on the last night I worked before coming here, involving Gabby and I, which I just remembered tonight. At one point during the night, she commented to me that the chicken looked, well, unpleasant. Just old and dry and shredded, like it had been there for a while. The exact words she used to describe it were "cat food", and immediately went on to ask me if I wanted some, just as a joke, because it was old and needed to be thrown out anyway. I stared at her for just a moment, then said "Oh, ha ha, that's quite funny", and she turned to me, puzzled, and when it came to her, she got an aghast look on her face, apologized, and said that's not what she meant. I don't think she meant it that way either, and immediately after that, I wish I had said "I can't tell if that's supposed to be a joke or not" instead, but yeah. It was amusing, and I'm trying to not get bothered by things like that now. Somebody makes a joke at my expense, or assumes the wrong animal? It doesn't really matter if you look at it from a dispassionate point of view, and I'd like that to be the default way I look at things, because it seems like a much better way to be. It would be best to be asleep right now though, and that should be fairly easy to achieve as I'm already laying in bed, but first, I would like a drink of water. One last trip out to the kitchen for tonight~