February 3rd, 2012

You Don't Know Me Like That

George's mom, specifically. Before I get to why though, because I don't want to start off with too large a paragraph, I have to say brilliantly done, self. I was feeling okay when I woke up this morning, which carried through until about half an hour after I went downstairs to wash the supper dishes, when Mom needed to use the area of the counter where I had my laptop, and I stormed off upstairs in a huff, because... I really don't know. I feel like I almost always get agitated in the same fashion when I have to wash the dishes on Thursdays, because it's annoying having to clean up after other people, but regarding the issue of counter space, maybe it's because I don't like other people figuratively buzzing around me and interfering like that, because an issue of the same sort came up at work on Tuesday as well. For some reason that clearly eludes me, there are a good handful of people there who will tell the person working drive through that there's a customer coming, if they're at the back washing dishes, or otherwise not in their area up front, and I don't see the point. With Laura and I on Tuesday, I can understand telling me not to go too far, if you see somebody just pull in as I'm walking away from the window after giving the previous customer their food, but if I'm washing dishes, or doing anything else that I normally do in a normal night's work, please leave me be. There is indeed a dinging noise when a customer pulls up to the menu board, and I try to check my headset periodically to make sure the battery isn't dead / dying. In the end, I think I asked her to please not tell me that a customer was coming, and she only said okay, and that she thought she was helping, or something like that. Then just yesterday night, Mary was about to do the same thing, and Laura told her what I said the night before, which I found amusing. Back to the original train of thought though, I went upstairs, and was irritated for a little while longer, but by ~7:20 was feeling calmed down again, so I went back downstairs, and was greeted with a large pile of dishes, which sent me back into being irritated, but to a significantly better end. The dishes, what would've taken me ~45 minutes to wash normally, only took about 20, including drying and putting them away, which was immensely satisfying. It's a shame I can't think of more things to channel anger / frustration of that sort into, because it would be alot more productive than doing nothing. Similarly, I was watching an old episode of Kitchen Nightmares UK a couple hours ago, where the owner of the restaurant - a husband a wife - constantly argued with each other, to the point that it was driving customers away. As a solution to that, they were given a big punching bag, and were told to go outside and have at that whenever they felt like yelling at each other or were frustrated in the future, which I think is oddly relevant to me as well. What would it be like if, instead of trying to write about how I felt, or just waiting for the feeling to pass, I had a punching bag to take it out on? Just hitting a pillow or whatever is sadly inadequate, and although I think it might work to prop my mattress up against the wall and have at that, it wouldn't be the same. We actually used to have a punching bag - the large, cylindrical kind - but I don't know if it's still in the basement. If it is though, I'll have to give that a try.

Leave it to me now. I say I don't want to start off with a big paragraph, and yet that's exactly what I do. Still, this is better than earlier, when I decided to call it a night really early because there was nothing else of interest to do. I only slept until 2am though, which is how I'm writing this now, and maybe, unlikely as it may be, that nap will give me the extra sleep needed to make it so that I can not sleep in tomorrow afternoon, and still feel rested when I wake up. I was laughably going to sleep on the floor last night, because I wanted to rename everything new I have downloaded for George and Brandon from their lists thus far, and didn't know how long that would take me, but in the end, decided the floor was too uncomfortable, but that my room was also still too much of a mess to go to sleep without cleaning up, so I did, and laid down in bed, which was much more comfortable. Before I went to sleep, or even started renaming those files though, I also emailed George's mom, because George hadn't responded to my asking about getting him to come over before the 16th, and I didn't want to unnecessarily spend time waiting, when I could contact her. The very beginning of my message was quick introduction, to say "This name (Karadur) is more or less a pseudonym in the literal sense, in that it's not a disguise name, and not a nickname either, instead being another name that I go by", because I thought she might be confused as to who the email was from otherwise, but no, no, there was apparently no chance of that, and now I feel a little embarrassed, which is where the title of this entry finally comes in. She responded while I was asleep, and even though it's almost 24 hours after I sent the original email now, I still haven't read her full response, entirely for what the preview says. Word for word: "Hello Karadur :) I spotted your email name right away, and knew who this was email me." Since nothing else I can think of means quite what I'm thinking, you (she) don't know me like that, but it did take a bit of adjustment getting used to being called by that name by Dan and Xion. It's one of those things that looks fine in text, but feels wrong when spoken aloud, and even with my adjustment to people in Toronto, that's only for the first name. Imagine my reaction if, say, somebody at the Islington meet in February asked who I was, and the person giving the answer gave them the last name as well.

It sure doesn't take me long to forget where I was going with writing this again. I just went back to Firefox to look at the emails George sent me earlier again, because he was going to come over here tonight, but presumably didn't hear back from me in time, from where I got distracted by how our telephone number was underlined just like a URL. I hate trying to coordinate things like this when I can't talk to the other person directly, because it's so uncertain, and difficult to ensure they saw and understood everything I said, but with any luck, he will either come over here at some point on Monday, or on Thursday, which I would prefer, primarily because it's not on the same night my night course falls on, and furthermore because more stuff would be downloaded, and I would be able to have more time to make / bake things for them. It would probably help to read the rest of what his mom said, but maybe in the morning. Brandon also emailed me earlier, shortly after I went to sleep, wanting me to buy more concert tickets which he won't have all of the money for until the day I get back from Toronto, but I don't think that should be an issue. With a little luck, I should head off on the 16th with ~$700 in my chequing account, not all of which I intend to spend there, but which will be all I have, as a hopeful means to putting an end to feeling that I need something physical to remember those trips by. If it's practical, or I'll get a reasonable amount of use out of it (such as my 3DS), then fine, I can allow that, money permitting, but not just randomly buying stuff because what the hell, I'm on vacation, and want to enjoy myself. In completely unrelated news though, I found something else new to have as a snack, that I'm surprised I didn't come up with before. The situation earlier was that I didn't want to make a packet of noodles, and didn't want to spend half an hour on making garlic bread which would probably be cold by the time I got upstairs, and didn't want to go out to 7-11 because I spent ~$16 at Dollarama earlier on gum, pepperoni sticks, chocolate bars, and a bag of cashews, and I was going to have bananas in milk with sugar sprinkled on top, and maybe some caramel syrup as well, but couldn't because the bananas were going rotten, so just as I was about to give up, I came upon an idea that combines two of the things I've made for meals for myself before: buns (the same kind used to make garlic bread), halved, with butter spread on top, put in the oven at 350°, with a prepared packet of Swiss Chalet's chalet sauce for dipping. Surprisingly good, but it leaves an awful lot of sauce, and probably would even if I halved 5 rolls instead of just two, however that could be solved simply by using a packet of gravy next time, which only requires one cup of water. I think it's time I tried getting to bed though, even though I don't feel tired, because if I don't, tomorrow night will be long and difficult, and it probably will be even if I'm in good shape, because Manoah is closing, which he hasn't in a while. Seeing how he and Tom get on should be interesting, however~