February 13th, 2012

An End to Issues?

According to the performance tab of the task manager, Windows has been running for eight days now, with no difficulties to report. It's almost enough to make me think that difficulties from the past couple weeks are actually done with, and in that regard alone, they are, but it would still be prudent to reinstall the new(er) video card driver that I found, which may lead to something undesirable. Still, it's nice, but to be quite honest, aside from that report I had to write for my night course, I haven't been doing much lately that stability would be a key factor in. Had I lost all of those open tabs that I was using to do research, yes, I would've been greatly annoyed, but that wasn't a problem, and now I only have my desktop and other assorted files to deal with. I cleaned up (organized) my closet again before I left for work tonight, and everything else is still firmly in mind for tomorrow: go to St. Clair, stop at work on the way home to do usual things there, probably stop at Tim Hortons on the way home from that, for a drink and only a drink, and then it's vacuuming, and laundry, and files-organizing, and, if I have the time, trying to compile a grocery list for Thursday, because I still want to go out to Food Basics the same night that I get to Toronto. Not much of a way to spend a day off, but I think I've become accustomed to it. So long as we're not surprised with random take-home assignment tomorrow evening, all of that should go fine. I am especially interested to go to work and talk to Manoah though, because of something that came up between he and I tonight.

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Further in regards to work, but not related to the above, I've been noticing another trend in how I feel and act there over my past several shifts. As concisely as possible, my mood changes rapidly, and several times a night. When I started tonight, I was calm and happy, but then Manoah took the rag I keep in the drive through sink with which to wipe the pop machine, and trying to explain to him that no, I'd appreciate it if he didn't take my rag when he had a couple of his own made me angry, and upset. Eventually that passed though, leading to he and I joking around and having fun again, but then just as soon, trying to wash dishes but having orders to take made me feel annoyed, except instead of going back to feeling happy again after that, I went into what I described above, what with initially feeling excited and the propositions Manoah was offering, leading to feeling completely cut-off from everything, and not in a way I've ever felt before. Then came the end of the night, where it appeared that my till was $15 short (verified by both Manoah and I), but it turns out he took too much money when he gave me change, so the rest was in the safe, and has been taken care of. Oh, and not to be forgotten is stopping at 7-11 on the way home, and spending an extra half-hour in the kitchen trying to make a new kind of supper (prepackaged stuff bought from Real Canadian Superstore), which was good, but time-consuming. I'd rather make four (they're cylindrical pieces of chicken wrapped in bacon) next time, and have them as a meal, instead of just two, which is more of a small snack. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow, after my cleaning up is finished. All in all though, I find that the reasons for those mood swings aren't related to work. Instead, it's like the box in which I was previously able to keep all of these things is starting to overflow. I can say with certainty that more things make me insecure these days than ever before (but only enough to cause anxiety - not of the "I feel like I'm about to lose it" sort), but is that just a coincidence, or is it a sign of things to come? It's really bleeding ironic to think that I'm even going to say this, but being more assertive and sure of myself would help tremendously.

All in all, I suppose it's been an interesting night. I can only hope tomorrow goes the same, because to be quite certain, it cannot be denied that going to bed in a good mood tomorrow will give me a good start to Tuesday, but all the same, going to bed in a good mood tonight will make tomorrow morning better, primarily for not sleeping in, because I'm back to that again. I can wake up fine, but then the thought that I have nothing to wake up for right away comes along, and I lay back down, intending to stay awake, but always fall asleep. Not sure what ever happened to the idea of setting an alarm on the laptop I'm using to download stuff right now, but I can do that before I go to bed. Otherwise... that's all that I can think of. If anything else comes to mind, I'll write about it tomorrow afternoon~