April 17th, 2013

Three Nights in a Row

Kind of a weird position to be writing in here, but perhaps I can make do. I've been up since ~1:30, because although I had my alarm set for 2, I didn't want to fall back asleep for half an hour only to be woken up in a less easy manner, and have been pretty much just laying here since. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, or even worth mentioning, really, but in this case, it's different, because the reason this position is a weird one to write in is due to Squeeze having her leg up and over mine. Yes indeed. I did stay here again last night, which was largely an unplanned thing, but I'm glad I did anyway. At first, I thought I would have to go home, both to get a proper night's sleep, and because she and Audra wanted some private time to talk about things in the morning, but then it came up that Audra was having a new internet connection installed, and thus wouldn't be online, effectively leaving us with the night to ourselves again. We did end up going to sleep earlier than normal, because I start work at 5 instead of 8 today, but it'll be nice not having to carry everything back home, only to eventually have to pack it back up to bring here again, so yeah. I do still have to stop at home to grab my uniform on the way in, but that's easy enough. The hard part will be actually leaving right away come 3:30pm, because as it usually goes, we're delayed for at least half an hour past whenever I say I'm going to leave to begin with.

That said, how am I feeling today overall? Tired, most notably. Late nights are definitely adding up, so hopefully being outside for a bit later on my way to work helps to wake me up. Unfortunately, the biggest concern I have for actually being at work is that it's going to see me wind up in the same state I have after weekends of closes before - really uncertain (in a physically painful way) about the way I feel, in this case because I'll have been away from Squeeze after having been with her pretty much all the time since ~3:30pm on Sunday. I enjoy being here with her in that way though, and to my mind, there's something really nice about how I'm laying here typing away on my laptop, while she's literally right next to me sleeping (or so it seems...), with Butters laying on her backside. It really makes me wish I knew why this not being able to feel anything thing seems to be starting again. Then again, I do have one guess here.

Back on Sunday night, we did... things here. Physical things, which I mentioned briefly in my previous LiveJournal entry. They also happened again on Monday night, and on the Tuesday after that as well, which I feel I can only sum up by using the word "intense". According to her, I've been very close to being in an interesting (albeit possibly undesired) position myself several times over now, not to mention that last night, without getting into too many details, she has a pillow which has now turned into our pillow, and not for the reason you might expect. I really wish I could be more specific, because the details are what make it so remarkable / special for me, but suffice it to say, I'm rubbing off on her, and she's rubbing off on me too. I never expected what happened last night, but I really liked it, and the fact that it happened in exactly the way it did is something I consider pretty special. I also told her at some point afterward that I'd have to work a mention of the color "purple" into this entry, so there it is, and on somewhat of the same note, I wanted to write about something she told me while we were out on the balcony yesterday morning. She had been looking through files on her external hard drive, to find something to watch, and perhaps because of me, when she came upon Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2, had no desire to watch either of them. I hadn't expected to hear that either, but although I just kind of shrugged and said "Yeah..." at the time, her saying that meant alot to me. Getting back to my guess mentioned at the end of the above paragraph though, perhaps it's that for as enjoyable as doing what we've been doing has been, my mind doesn't want that to be all that we do, and is trying to pull me back toward other things as a result. It's a theory, anyway.

At any rate, if I lay here much longer I will end up falling asleep again, so I should try to find something a little more active to keep myself busy with. Going to the bathroom sounds like a good start~