September 14th, 2014

I Have Too Much Energy

Quarter after 7 in the morning is probably not the most ideal time to be questioning a couple choices from earlier tonight, yet I find myself having laid here for at least an hour without coming much closer to falling asleep, and it seems like the best thing to do would be to find something else to occupy my time.

So what did I do? Just drank an energy drink of mine that had been in the walk in since last Thursday. Oh, and a couple 1/3 or so full cups of Pepsi and Dr. Pepper. Shouldn't do that much, but apparently it was just what I needed this time. Work ended up being alright, thankfully - neither too slow nor too busy - and for the first time, I got a ride home with Orlando. Michelle called just after we closed, apparently to tell him that it was cold out and that he had to be up early in the morning, so she was coming to pick him / us up, and that was quite nice and appreciated. Lucas, in his car seat beside me, was just staring at me wide-eyed for the entire trip, and we stopped at 7-11 because I wanted to get a couple snacks and drinks for Jen and I, then I got dropped off at home, and the rest of the night was normal. Ate a small supper, checked some things on my laptop, and laid down to continue playing games on Jen's phone. She found one called Geometry Dash, which plays the same as The Impossible Game, but with considerably more content. I've beaten the first six or so levels in both normal and practice mode, but the rest continue to elude me. As of tonight, however, I've achieved new bests in all of those. With time...

Tomorrow is going to be just the same as any other Sunday for work, in that I'm in from 8 - close, but there'll be something different both before I go there and when I get home. Sobeys has a deal for ribs, a nice crusty loaf of bread, salad (not so interested in that), and I think something else, so we're going to get that. Works for me, and it'll be nice coming home to a proper supper. Closing with Orlando would make the work part of the day better, but he has the night off, so it's Gabby instead, and I think that'll be fine. Last weekend, I closed with Manoah on Sunday and Monday, which I made it through by trying to keep my distance from whatever he was doing, but Orlando told me something amusing that Manoah said about those nights when I came back on Thursday. He (Manoah) had been telling me about various things that were going on, and was apparently trying to vent to me, but I was responding to him the same as I do anybody else I don't actually want to talk to. With "yeah?"s and "uh-huh"s, and other such acknowledgement-but-not-engagement statements. The same thing that happens when talking to Tom, but he'll continue talking anyway, which I suppose is amusing in its own right. Manoah, however, apparently commented to Orlando on either Tuesday or Wednesday that he had been trying to vent to me, but I wouldn't respond in any meaningful way. Yeah? It's intentional. Also, having mentioned Tom, one of the thoughts that kept me from falling asleep earlier was remembering seeing him making food earlier tonight. The way he wraps burritos is stupid, lazy, and greatly annoys me. I almost said something then. I will soon, be it tomorrow, or whenever we work together after that. They're supposed to be rolled, not folded once, then folded again. I would correct any of the new people if I saw them doing the same thing, and indeed, back on Labor Day, there were a few orders where only new people were on line, and I was asked to come wrap whatever even though I was on drive through, but... do you suppose I'm too fussy? Maybe. They're only burritos, but FFS, there's a difference between "sloppy but acceptable", and "lazy". Which brings me to another point.

I've written in here before about the whole would be management but more valuable as crew (supposedly). Yesterday (Friday), I was annoyed with having to go on drive through right at 8, so I was rushing around quite quickly. Logan noticed, and a couple times made a comment to Orlando about how I was moving really fast, and, according to Orlando later that night once things were caught up, said that he was surprised I wasn't a manager. Orlando then asked me what I would do if I were approached about that, and right away, I told him I would take it, because I might as well. Then there was a customer, and probably another one after them, and once they were done with, he made a couple interesting points. Not a whole lot would change if I were to become a manager. I would get 6~8 hours (my estimation) more each pay period, and I would be on line instead of drive through most of the time, but that's really it. I'd get a slight raise, but not enough to write home about, and I'd also have to open from time to time. Looking at it that way, why bother? I know other people would feel it's silly to have a position of "more valuable as crew", but I, at least for the foreseeable future, prefer it that way. I don't have to deal with most of the extra stuff managers are required to take care of, but I get almost just as many hours, and a wage that I'm comfortable with. My most recent pay, counting Labor Day, when I worked ~7 hours, was ~$900. Usually it's right around 7 or so. Things are definitely fine just as they are for now.

Speaking of money as well, that's something else I was laying down thinking about before I decided to sit up and write this. I want my bank balance to stay above $900 until our next pay. Should expenses arise, $800 would be acceptable. Christmas shopping time is here, and I have a couple gifts already, but nowhere near enough (ideas or actual items), so there's that. I can't think of anything else to come that I would need to have a large sum of money for, but remember what used to happen? Every three or four months or so, when I'd spend a couple hundred dollars (if not more) to go away for a bit? That was on my mind quite a bit earlier, and the more I thought about it, the more it stood out as just remarkable that that's something I actually went and did. Maybe it's because I haven't gone in a good two years now, or maybe it's because I don't think about it too often, but it's interesting. I sit here and think about what's stopping me from going now, and honestly, there's nothing that wasn't there before. I'd have to arrange time off from work, buy a train ticket, have money for various expenses... I suppose there is one significant thing now though, which is being away from Jen for an extended time again. I still remember what happened before, and sure, I like to think our relationship now is stronger and more stable than it was then, but I still can't shake the thought of being there, without her, and things just not going well as such. What could I do? I like to think I could have some time each day to call and talk to her on the phone, but that's all that comes to mind. Funnily enough, I seem to have no problem with that idea in reverse. The idea was proposed a while ago that she could go visit Audra for a weekend. I think, and in fact I would like to stay here to watch Conner, so she can go off and have fun. Let me reiterate, I like that idea. For me to go to Toronto though? Nonononono. Much anxiety. All in all, what I'm trying to say is I'd love to send Dan a message about going back there, but I'm holding myself back. I want him to read this, and tell me "We haven't talked for a while, but I'd like to have you back too :3", and to relive those days of going to visit him, but... yeah. Meandering aside, there's also the money thing. For now, I should be alright for money. I'm still spending slightly frivolously - just a couple days ago, I dropped ~$30 on D.O.S. - and I'd like to have at least $100 to spend on my birthday, but otherwise, it seems that whenever I need a larger amount of money for something, I don't have it. I haven't even been out grocery shopping in several weeks, but that's alright, because I have too much other food that I'm only going to get to by not having anything more desirable to eat.

I think on that note though, I should get myself a glass of milk and try to lay down. At least my being up this late means Butters will get her 8:00 scoop~