June 16th, 2015

A New Sort of Thing

...just to try to keep tabs on things in here...

As mentioned yesterday, I had my first appointment with Al Edmonds today. The original plan was to get dropped off at work, talk to Mary about coming back, and walk up to the church from there, but she ended up being busy, so I walked all the way up, nearly to Gregory Drive first, then sat in the shade outside for about half an hour, and played Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright. Two people pulled up during that time, the first of whom seemed to be a maintenance guy, and the second who would turn out to be Mr. Edmonds. We exchanged a few words as we went inside, then looked for a room to get comfortable in, and ended up deciding on the office. I ended up having to bring a chair in from the hall to sit in...

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Is that all? I've said alot more than I thought I would, but hell, I can just throw an LJ-cut in. Pretty well, for the day overall, Jen is still on my mind as much as she's ever been, but I did something new, and productive for myself, and though it may not have gone completely ideally, it went well enough that I'm hesitantly looking forward to my next appointment. I think that's all I can really ask for...

A Mildly Important Thing to Note

Two entries in the same day? How very unlike me.

I was just sitting here though, working on a personal project (if you can call it that), when I remembered something interesting about the way that things happened between Jen and I, that I told mom about, and told dad about, and wanted to write something proper about, but was never quite sure how to do so. Since I still can't justify writing it in my paper journal, to her, this will have to suffice.

I remember the weekend after we finished cleaning the apartment. I remember the first night we were able to sit, and relax, having taken care of our immediate responsibilities.

I can't remember exactly when, but sometime between Thursday and Saturday, I got this feeling that I've had before. The feeling that things were, and had been for long enough to be noticeable, just a bit too perfect. For myself anyway, like I'd become just a bit too settled and content with the way things are going.

"That sounds just fine", you might say, but there's a second half to it.

Things felt just a bit too perfect, and I had this very slight gut feeling that because of that, something was going to go wrong, or would otherwise happen to cause things to change, drastically.

I pushed it out of my head at the time, because I figured it was just a stray thought, that didn't mean anything, but to look at the circumstances now...

It's interesting.

I know I've experienced the same sort of thing before, but I can't remember any of those times. I just remember that feeling that things were going perfectly - too perfect, even - and something bad was on the way.

Maybe that's something I can describe to Al Edmonds eventually, and see what we're able to make of it together.

I don't know. I've never put too much stock into the idea of premonition, and it's something that happens very infrequently at best, but I wonder if there's something to it. Maybe it's the same thing that happened that night for Jen and I before. It was so nice to just be able to sit close to each other, and work on our own individual tasks, but as ideal, or even perfect as that was, it only precipitated that fabric problem, which I've had some pretty serious difficulties with...