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February 19th, 2018

On Unexpected Life Events

I wasn't planning to write one of these so soon at all, but I have the time right now, so I figure why not at least try to say something.

It's been a weird couple of weeks. I don't want to go into details right now, because I'm trying to just accept things for what they are and move on with my own life, but today was a rough time indeed. I woke up to what were some of the nastiest, most personal messages that I've ever received in my life, and from none other than a person who used to mean more to me than anything else. In some aspects, they were warranted, and I'll take it on the chin for not taking no for an answer the first time, but for the rest, I'm still blindsided to the point where I'm not sure if I should actually feel hurt, or just accept this as that it's time to move on.

I went for a ~3 hour long walk earlier to try and clear my head, and came to one conclusion: that I was at least ready to block said other person in Discord. Today may have been the end of us as friends. It's uncomfortable to think about and type that, after how long we've known each other, but I don't see how we could even be in the same room together after everything they said. I'm not trying to say it's all their fault either, as I most definitely share alot of the blame, but in this particular instance, they're the ones who sent the messages.

How to move forward from this? Wake up tomorrow and try to be better. Some sort of cliche advice like that. I'm really not sure yet, but I at least want to find some community to get involved in online.

I also feel like I'm starting to run out of energy for writing, so I'll just leave this here for now and see if looking back tomorrow brings any new thoughts to mind. I've done enough thinking about it for today.