The first thing I have to write about is a fun little comparison I worked out just a few minutes ago. One of my problems with friends in the past was that I was much too concerned about resolving each and every little problem that came up. Problems that were, for the most part - created entirely by me being envious and insecure, and that's not fair to them, because if they don't know what I get angry about, I can't hold them responsible a majority of the time things go wrong. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't hesitate to say things with friends would be far different if I just had my emotions under control. There are things that make me angry, yes, but the only one I can't forgive - at least in recent history - involves a certain story, but let's not go there again. The idea is that I need to focus more on why I get envious or insecure, instead of brooding over it until I felt better, which is very loosely used here, because feeling better only means that I forgot why "it" bothered me so much. So anyways, you might say that's really confusing and doesn't make any sense, but that's where the example comes in. Let's say you're in the mood for ice cream, but while looking through the cupboards for a bowl, accidentally spill some salt or other unappetizing substance into your treat. It needs to be removed, of course, but instead of spending hours upon hours picking every grain of salt out of the container, by which point the ice cream would be a melty mess if not completely liquid, you'd just scoop out the offending portion, salt and all, and discard it. That's exactly what I need to do - figure out why I get envious, or why I'm so insecure, and solve that - scoop it out of my life, so to speak, because in theory, once I do, these other problems will cease to exist. Or a fair portion of them will, at least.
Item number two is (or was) work tonight. My previous entry said enough for what I was expecting to have happen, but things took a rather different turn before I even went inside. Manoah came out to have a smoke, and a few minutes after sitting down asked if I would "do" line and let him be on drive through. I agreed, and the night may not have gone so well if it hadn't been quite so slow, but it was, and as such we had fun. We talked about some of our plans for Christmas, and what sorts of things happened yesterday night (apparently Orlando was being difficult, and James was being roughly the same), and, for most certainly not the first time now, how nobody at work seems to understand him and how they all think he's rude and grumpy, and so on. Then after all that was done we walked home as well, because his Mom was unable to pick him up or something, and that was just as fun, even though he kept complaining that I was walking too fast when I was purposefully walking more slowly than I usually do. We talked about more random things, and then he thought a couple guys we passed by on the bridge over by the police station were going to mug us which ended up being quite hilarious in the end (at least to him), and just... yeah. One of the items on my list of things I enjoy in life is actually talking to the people I work with, and tonight was the perfect example <3 The only unfortunate part of the night was that I didn't make it out to The Bargain(!) Shop (I ended up formatting my Zen and syncing all of my music to it again, which took until ten after seven), but I can go tomorrow, and have been informed that we might be getting some type of check in the mail soon, which would be a nice surprise. Especially now that I want to make all of these things for people for Christmas and am really starting to wonder where I'm going to get the money.
But that will be enough for tonight. I badly, badly want to turn my head to the side and lay it down on my pillow, but I can't type very well like that. Just so I have something to start with tomorrow though, it is the beginning of a new week, so I hope to wake up and find an email waiting for me that says this picture has been sent out. And if not that, there are a couple other things that might happen as well, but I'll just see about those whenever I wake up~