Anyways, the title. I've noticed the same problem for the past two days now, but I'm really starting to like the solution. It usually goes that I'll wake up around noon, or some other earlier-than-normal time, and instead of immediately falling back asleep, my mind will start racing. Today it had to do with certain facts about that story I didn't like that were revealed just recently (in particular, that aside from me and one other person, everybody else likes it), and thinking the same thoughts as before about how this comes back to me and how I should just be content with having been given multiple opportunities to state my case, and was even outright told what I was hoping to hear about it having been written in the first place. But I really don't want to get into such detail right now. As far as I'm concerned anymore, Feathertail is an alright guy, but being around him is just going to hurt me more. Kind of like he's my friend, actually, and I need to just walk away, but aside from one single remaining loose end, I can live with the way things turned out. Oh, and along the same general lines, publishing my story will be complete within the week. I went through and finished reworking the layout yesterday (making it so that everything flows normally instead of starting each part on a new page), and unfortunately was unable to use a few of the illustrations, but that's why I plan to just say "Make sure you at least use these ones".
At any rate, getting back to catching up on sleep, that happens, and I obviously can't fall asleep thanks to everything going through my mind, so I think to myself at least once or twice that I might as well just get up and put my being awake to better use, but if I just hold out for a little longer than, oh, let's say ten minutes to half an hour, I'll fall back asleep and have a much, much better sleep. Of course "much, much better" in this case does indeed mean that even though I slept in until 3pm I still didn't want to get up, and I didn't today either, but I have things to do before I leave for work, which starts an hour earlier than normal tonight, sure enough, and figure that if worse comes to worse I can go to bed early either tonight or tomorrow, and maybe sleep straight through to the afternoon without waking up. It is a nice thought, and as noted I don't have much else aside from repositioning things in BookSmart to do tomorrow. Well, aside from one activity that just came to mind. I was looking over my LJ entries from a year ago at this time last night, and noticed how I was talking about having already purchased food gifts for Christmas for everybody, so maybe I should go out to Real Canadian Superstore and / or Walmart and do that tomorrow or on Friday. I'm already into my "reserve" money thanks to Brandon's delay in paying me back, and I need to get one of the other two games Adam wants as well (but possibly from EB Games, on the off chance they're priced lower than Future Shop's). It's an idea, and would be fun, but my first priority is BookSmart, and there's no telling yet how much time that'll take.
And just in general now, since I think I'm getting to the point where I can look back at the past couple months instead of still being firmly in the middle of all those events, just... wow. I need to change who I am if I'm to have any hope of this not happening again, except even worse next time. I need to come to terms with myself and do away with my envy and insecurity, and not necessarily try to have a large group of friends again, but talk to people in real life and either do things with them or do something more productive / constructive with my time. Maybe once we get into the new year and I start going back to Heart and Stroke that void will be filled for a little while. And also along the same general lines, Dan Skunk said he would "Love to have me come visit sometime", so it'd be fun to do that, especially if I could work out another trip to the Toronto Zoo in the process. It would be truly awesome - in the original sense of the word - to see the snow leopards again <3 But anyways, I have about two hours here to complete two other tasks, so I'm off to get started, and also to prepare for what will very surely be another enjoyable night at work. Although there is the possibility of going to 7-11 with George afterward, and that's always fun~