I Feel So Invisible
I must admit this feels like somewhat of a conspiracy. Back at the beginning of the week or so, I sent Munedust a message asking if she would like cookies in addition to a Christmas card this year, because I already plan to make some for George and possibly James, and thought it would be nice to meet her and say hi in a place other than the drive through at work for once. Most notably because I haven't said anything in either encounter thus far, instead just waiting until the end of the night to mention it in here. At any rate, a day and a bit went by without hearing back from her, so I left a comment on one of her entries asking if she'd seen it, and while she has unfailingly responded to any of the others I've left in the past, she hasn't responded to this one. Likewise, before leaving for work the other day I sent Dan Skunk a message in Pidgin about an idea I had pertaining to his offer for me to visit, and since then, he's been both nigh-on impossible to find online (in MSN), and when he is, it must be on accident because he either doesn't respond to my messages, or responds with "*hugs*", and very shortly has to leave, or wants to go to bed. Then there's also that thing with Kumakehu removing me from his friends list, so if anybody sees this, I would like an honest answer. Is this due to the serious issues I had been writing about? If so, I find it highly appropriate that Feathertail can write about the same thing and get pity and people liking him more for it, only for me to have a hard time keeping the friends I have already. Just a little bit of bitterness to start things off with today, but I'm really not so bitter as I am curious and annoyed. Yeah.
Although to share the same thing in here, I'll say exactly what I told him in an email yesterday: karma is a funny thing. Look at how much of a jerk I've been recently, then consider how the person I was supposed to be commissioning a second story from hasn't responded to any of my emails since the middle of October. Yes, to be fair, the odds of them having just taken my money and run are less likely than those of them having unexpected problems, but even more than that, I'm asking what I want to come of this story all the same. If it's to be as true-to-life as I wanted it to be before, I'd be much better off writing about the particularly dark things on my own, and not inflicting that part of myself on anybody else, which is by far the simplest way to say it. Sure, that sounds plenty whiny as well, but if I was trying to provoke a reaction from anybody, I'd go on about it at much greater length than that. And as if that wasn't enough already, I can't file a dispute in Paypal to try and get the money back, at least temporarily, because I sent it as a personal payment. The thought behind that was trying to be nice and doing them a favor (saving them the fees), but, well, I did get mine in the end
So, in effort to switch over to somewhat more upbeat topics now, yesterday was fun. I left for work later than normal (around 7:20), and all the way down Wellington street could hear sirens occasionally blaring and people honking their horns over on the street right beside ours (not West). At first I thought there must have been some sort of big accident, but as I got closer to the end of the street and saw quite a few more people than normal walking up towards the bank / the bridge, another possibility dawned on me: a parade? Oh yes indeed. The Christmas parade, of all things, and it isn't even December yet! Those thoughts didn't last too long though, because they were almost immediately replaced by how I was going to get to work. Given that I'd left the house almost half an hour later than normal, I would be very late getting to work by the time I walked around the entire parade, and if I waited for it to pass I'd be just as late, but either way it would make for a funny story to share, and be a unique excuse. Fortunately though, as I got closer to King street I crossed over to the other side (originally because I thought I would have to walk around everybody), and there - right where I'd normally cross the street on the way home - was an opening, so I walked straight across, and right in the middle of the street everybody started cheering at one of the floats which literally brought tears to my eyes for some reason. The rest of the walk went smoothly enough, and I made it to work with fifteen minutes to spare, but it's not every day I almost get stopped by a parade, and that's probably a good thing.
Work after that was nothing I care to talk about (suffice it to say, it got really busy shortly after I started), and I don't know how I'm going to make it through tonight much less tomorrow as well, but at least tomorrow carries the advantage of my shift starting at 5. This afternoon will be the second in a row where I've slept until 4pm, and while that's nothing extremely bad (for I am catching up on sleep), I can't get used to it. Otherwise I'll be sleeping in until 5 or 6 before you know it, and while I did that a couple times back when I first started at work, it is a huge waste of a day. Anyways, I have about an hour left now, and towards sleeping in, will just set my alarm tomorrow. It won't be a pleasant way to wake up, but could still be worse~
Although to share the same thing in here, I'll say exactly what I told him in an email yesterday: karma is a funny thing. Look at how much of a jerk I've been recently, then consider how the person I was supposed to be commissioning a second story from hasn't responded to any of my emails since the middle of October. Yes, to be fair, the odds of them having just taken my money and run are less likely than those of them having unexpected problems, but even more than that, I'm asking what I want to come of this story all the same. If it's to be as true-to-life as I wanted it to be before, I'd be much better off writing about the particularly dark things on my own, and not inflicting that part of myself on anybody else, which is by far the simplest way to say it. Sure, that sounds plenty whiny as well, but if I was trying to provoke a reaction from anybody, I'd go on about it at much greater length than that. And as if that wasn't enough already, I can't file a dispute in Paypal to try and get the money back, at least temporarily, because I sent it as a personal payment. The thought behind that was trying to be nice and doing them a favor (saving them the fees), but, well, I did get mine in the end
So, in effort to switch over to somewhat more upbeat topics now, yesterday was fun. I left for work later than normal (around 7:20), and all the way down Wellington street could hear sirens occasionally blaring and people honking their horns over on the street right beside ours (not West). At first I thought there must have been some sort of big accident, but as I got closer to the end of the street and saw quite a few more people than normal walking up towards the bank / the bridge, another possibility dawned on me: a parade? Oh yes indeed. The Christmas parade, of all things, and it isn't even December yet! Those thoughts didn't last too long though, because they were almost immediately replaced by how I was going to get to work. Given that I'd left the house almost half an hour later than normal, I would be very late getting to work by the time I walked around the entire parade, and if I waited for it to pass I'd be just as late, but either way it would make for a funny story to share, and be a unique excuse. Fortunately though, as I got closer to King street I crossed over to the other side (originally because I thought I would have to walk around everybody), and there - right where I'd normally cross the street on the way home - was an opening, so I walked straight across, and right in the middle of the street everybody started cheering at one of the floats which literally brought tears to my eyes for some reason. The rest of the walk went smoothly enough, and I made it to work with fifteen minutes to spare, but it's not every day I almost get stopped by a parade, and that's probably a good thing.
Work after that was nothing I care to talk about (suffice it to say, it got really busy shortly after I started), and I don't know how I'm going to make it through tonight much less tomorrow as well, but at least tomorrow carries the advantage of my shift starting at 5. This afternoon will be the second in a row where I've slept until 4pm, and while that's nothing extremely bad (for I am catching up on sleep), I can't get used to it. Otherwise I'll be sleeping in until 5 or 6 before you know it, and while I did that a couple times back when I first started at work, it is a huge waste of a day. Anyways, I have about an hour left now, and towards sleeping in, will just set my alarm tomorrow. It won't be a pleasant way to wake up, but could still be worse~
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