So anyways, in regards to the stuff I wrote about in my previous entry, what a thoroughly enjoyable experience this has been. I'm still nowhere near out of it yet, but am starting to second-guess the whole creating-a-Furaffinity-account-in-my-nam
I want to say I'll give it a month or two before I send him a message by some means that he didn't explicitly specify in that message to ask "What did I do? Did I take advantage of you, when you thought I should know better?" At the same time, thoughts of his website and how there's apparently now a built-in chat on it come to mind, and I find myself so beside myself with... well, hurt, because I could've been a part of that. Why is being a part of that so important to me though? Because then it'd show that we've worked out our differences and are on good terms again? Mostly, I guess, and even though I want to change who I am, I still don't think I could change to the point where chatting online with several people at the same time would be something I enjoy. I still like my privacy, but I'm trying to slowly edge out and see what happens. Of course, this has all changed now that I have a reason to (change, or be doomed to a possibly very short life filled with unhappiness), but I'm trying, slowly. For now though, I have about two and half hours in which to eat breakfast and work on this reply to "Jo". Apparently, even though the odds of the same person responding to my message each time are extremely low, everybody who responds is able to see the past 30 days of correspondence, presumably on both of our parts, so that's neat. And yes, for all I know, this could just be a middle step between not saying anything to anybody and talking about things with Mom or Dad if I still have reason to want to find out why I am the way I am then, but I do need the middle step, and am only too thankful that this is working out, unlike that other phone call I made~