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Christmas Started Too Early

I give it an hour, maybe hour and a half at best before I fall asleep again. Ericka wanted to open her gifts at 8:00, so it was agreed that we would all open our gifts at 8:00, meaning that my original plans were just to stay awake, alas, I made it until a couple minutes after 7 before deciding that I just needed to close my eyes for a bit, leading to what seemed like a fairly long nap, but which left me pretty irritable upon waking up. But now, well, gifts have been opened, and the only things remaining are one edible present Naomi overlooked, and the "mystery" envelope for Adam and Trish. Apparently Naomi is the only one who knows where it is though, and she's also in her room eating cinnamon buns right now, which is just... fine. She didn't seem too enthusiastic about the gift I gave her (the external hard drive), and I dare say almost looked like she was going to break into tears at one point, but I'm not all that enthralled with my non-edible gifts either - a leopard-spotted pillowcase that's too small for the pillow I use (which is my own fault for using a body pillow as an actual pillow, I will confess), a painting of CCI (the high school), which Mom said should be "nostalgic", and two cooking / baking books. I am kind of open to the latter, because just flipping through them I did find myself thinking "Oh, I would like to make some of these things!", but yes. Last time we went to get our hair cut, Mom said she had the "perfect" gift for me. I can see how she thought the books were relevant, but hey, I wouldn't have minded a snow leopard-themed gift such as a larger version of the little figurine I got for my birthday. Oh well to that too though. For all I know my family may see snow leopards as being of interest to me, but that says nothing of how much they are me, which is something which only I am fully aware of.

But yeah, aside from the having-only-one-hour-of-sleep thing, it's been a fun morning, and I only hope this visitor I'm supposed to be having chooses to stop by while I'm asleep, because once I fall asleep again, I am not getting up for more than five minutes. Said visitor is, of course, Josh, and I was expecting to see him at some point soon because Sheila told me they would be coming over to meet Trish and Ericka. I've been told he actually stopped by yesterday, which would explain why Mom knocked on my door a couple times, but I didn't say a word, because I wanted them to think I was away at work. Sure, the deception wasn't helped by Josh telling them that I was in fact not there, but the cake was still a surprise yesterday, and everybody seemed to believe what I was telling them about it having been busy up until the cake was set down on the table, and uncovered, and I simply said "I didn't work". Yeah. Do not underestimate my ability for misdirection and deception, because if I want to hide something, I do so both physically and psychologically. Anyways, getting back to Josh, I'm just hoping our catching up this time is exchanging a few words and wishing each other a Merry Christmas, because I don't want to tell him about how I've been, for obvious reasons. Although in the context of what I've been writing about recently, that feeling is diminished somewhat right now. The desire to become something more is still there, but it's not quite as debilitating as before. Whether that's because I've had very little sleep thus far today, or I have too many other things on my mind, or simply because a few days have passed since I first entered into this "phase", it's not quite as strong, which is a disappointment because I did enjoy the feeling and it was exciting, but it'd be nothing if not preemptive of me to assume it's fading away permanently just because I don't feel the same way I did before.

As for other recent events though, I ended up taking the package containing my book with me to Aunt Marie and Uncle Mark's last night, so I would have something unique to occupy my time with while I waited, and while I haven't looked / read through the entire thing, it looks more complete this time. Pages 20 through 23 are all there, intact, and my new changes and additions are present as well, so yeah, I like it <3 What I like even more is putting the new copy of the book next to the old one and thinking about how I have not one but two physical copies of my story, and the interesting / amusing thoughts that come about as a result of having those. If I wanted Josh to learn of roughly what I've been through recently (setting aside the near-complete inability to talk), I could sit him down with either of the books, and say "Here, read this". They, of course, do not cover the more recent events I've been through, but most of the details about what happened during those are still fresh enough in my mind that I could find - with a little effort - a place to start off at, and let him ask questions / continue explaining what's been going on from there. Of course, that's more of an amusing possibility, but we'll have to see what happens if and when he stops by. Also, the picture this user picture was taken from is... not up. Or at least not yet. I asked for a couple changes to be made to the colored version, and the artist said that was fine, and that they'd fix it up and send me the new version later this afternoon. Which is alright, because it's not going to hurt if the picture is finished a little later than expected, and this icon works fine in the meantime.

But now I think I am going to get back to sleep. I don't know what time we'll be eating at, but I'm giving myself until 4pm, and I mostly just want to be out before Trish and Adam are given directions on where to find that envelope. That way I truly will not have heard their reactions, and can play it a little more in-the-dark when I go back downstairs later. Oh, or maybe I was mistaken. Either that, or Adam's exclamation of "Wow!" just now was directed at something else. But before I get too curious about that, I am off to sleep. ~5 hours will have to suffice~

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