Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

It's Almost an Addiction

So, I did it again. Except this time I set my alarm for 3pm before going to bed, then somehow managed to close Firefox before it actually went off, and ended up sleeping in 'til 3:30. Which turned to 4:30 because I really couldn't think of anything more important that I needed to be doing with that time, and sleeping is still a much more pleasurable feeling than being awake is. It's fairly saddening to think that I only have just over a month to go before returning to Heart and Stroke, but hopefully by then I will have these things somewhat sorted out. Either that or my sleeping schedule will have been readjusted, because for the moment waking up at 1pm several afternoons in a row would be quite a chore. I do have something of a little more interest to share though, dealing with gift controversy, because it wouldn't be Christmas if somebody really didn't like one of the gifts they were given.

I woke up yesterday to find that Naomi had left that hard drive I bought for her outside of my door. She wanted to know if it could be returned or exchanged for a camera, because her other one was broken, and right away I could say no, that it couldn't be, unfortunately. First of all, it was well past 14 days since I'd purchased the thing, so even if I had the receipt (which I didn't), Staples would not have been willing to accept the return, and secondly, even if they were to by some miracle, the hard drive was only ~$80. A camera with a rechargeable battery would be at least $100, and I would feel no obligation to cover the difference. Even for Adam, with returning Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood and getting Halo: Reach instead, if the latter ended up costing more than the game I bought him originally did, it would be up to him to pay the difference, because these are (or technically were) gifts. Not things I owed them in return for favors they'd done for me. Well, Adam might be an exception, but I still clearly remember the afternoon where I was forced to go out and buy a digital camera of my own after Naomi demanded to have back the one that Dad had given her - the one I took to the Toronto Zoo and MFF and such. So anyways, I double-checked with Naomi to make sure she didn't want it, and explained again that even if it could be returned, I didn't have the receipt, and then asked if she'd mind me giving it to Trish, who I had just overheard earlier saying that she could use something like that. Her (Naomi's) response? "I don't care." I told her I was taking that as a yes, that I could do whatever I liked with it again, so I took it downstairs to Trish, explained why I was giving it to her, and about ten minutes after that heard a door slam and many other sounds of displeasure coming from Naomi's room. And I think she ate an entire can of the cinnamon rolls I bought too, so I hope she feels even.

Josh also stopped by yesterday to talk for a bit, and before he left said I should call him if I wanted to come over later and hang out, and I never did, so I feel somewhat bad for having done that, but also can't help but notice how the dynamic has changed. It used to be that I always wanted him to come over here, but he would rather stay at home / have me come to his place, and now it's me who wants to stay here, because I can do more of what I want to around here. Seriously, I didn't start warming up to the idea until the thought crossed my mind that we could go out to Charlie's Variety and Tim Hortons, and by that point it was too late. But speaking purely of his visit here, it was nice seeing him again, and he wasn't nearly so inquisitive as I thought he'd be, outside of saying that we never talked anymore. I don't talk to anyone all that much anymore, Josh, because I'm not good at talking about things unless they're a mutual interest or something of importance to me. We don't have too many mutual interests anymore, and if I told you about the things that were of importance to me, it'd most definitely be you who was at a loss for words. Speaking of which though, I was thinking about this whole "Becoming something more - something better and above everything else" thing last night, and stumped myself with the question "Exactly what is it that I want?" I want to be able to understand the things that make me uncomfortable right now, because to me the discomfort is a weakness which exists only to be eliminated, but by being comfortable with and understanding of everything, I would just be... normal, right? And I don't want to be normal! Still though, going back to the first couple days where I felt this way, it truly did seem like there was something more to it, but I can no longer remember what that something was. It's like I want to be better than I am now, but only in such that I "expand my horizons", and that seems like a perfectly attainable goal, but nothing nearly as profound as what I was feeling before.

But I can't get too caught up in that right now, unfortunately. That is about the extent of my breaking it down thus far, but I need to give Money Mart a call today as well, and this time I really hope that they are open. I didn't go shopping anywhere at all yesterday (not even 7-11 or Tim Hortons), but for the moment I see that as a good thing, because it's better to save my money, but I'm mostly saving it for when Money Mart is open, and it'd be really nice if they are today, because then I could stop for snacks on the way home and not feel as guilty. Time to go find out~

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