a] "If you were to write your autobiography..."
b] "If you were to write your autobiography..."
Regarding the first, if I didn't write it, it wouldn't be an autobiography, whereas regarding the second, if I wrote it for somebody else, it would be a plain old normal biography, without the "auto-" prefix. Properly worded, I would rewrite the question to say something like "What would the title of your autobiography be?" Simple, direct, and it avoids the nonsense of "If you did this...", when to properly ask somebody the question, you would have to be more specific. It's kind of like somebody asking "If I were to stomp on your foot, how much would it hurt?" (bad example, yes, but it's all I can think of right now). That person would have to stomp first, because the amount of hurt is relative. It could very well end up that if you went ahead and answered "Not much" to their previous question, they would stomp harder than they would have otherwise, in hopes of inflicting pain and eliciting a response other than indifference. But you see, these are the things I am contemplating, instead of going to bed at a normal time (which I've missed by a couple hours now), entirely because I was awake until ten after ten yesterday morning. That was fun, but more and more I think I need to use my two days off in a row coming up to do that thing where I sleep for only a couple hours, stay awake for at least 24, and then finally go to bed and have a normal, restful sleep. Not that I'm not starting to get back into that stage these days, but when I go to bed at 10 in the morning, everything seems to fly by so quickly that while I did sleep for a good six or seven hours, it feels like less, and causes fair amounts of stress. Alternately, that's just me and I should try sleeping on a normal schedule and see if that doesn't change anything, but if I do a night will eventually come where I'll curl up and just fall dead asleep in some corner at work, and end up getting prodded by brooms. Yes.
More realistically, however, I'm thinking ahead to tomorrow, and what I need to buy, which is quite a bit, actually. I need the ingredients to make at least three of those cakes, minus the cake mix for one (so two boxes of cake mix, three cans of sweetened condensed milk, two bottles of caramel syrup (half a bottle per cake), fifteen Skor bars, three tubs of Cool Whip, and three jars of maraschino cherries), everything we don't have already to make the first cookie recipe in my book of them (hopefully not too much), preferably at least two cases of Pepsi (but I'll take whatever I can get), a bottle of vanilla scented shampoo because I absolutely must have that instead of the honey stuff they bought last week, and probably other things that I can't remember right now. Oh, well, I also need another bag of oatmeal, a new bottle of vanilla extract (which is bloody expensive), and probably sugars and other such ingredients required for baking, and just... I will literally need to make myself a list, and hope that the $84.95 from my GST check is enough to pay for everything. I expect the cake ingredients to cost at least $60, and the vanilla extract plus the oatmeal on their own are over ten dollars.
I'll figure those things out tomorrow though. It's now 8:30, and it would be really nice to be asleep by 9:00, so I'm off to bed now, and will hope for the best~