Other random things aside though, there is but one point of going to work tonight that I am looking forward to: leaving right at 6 (they've scheduled me to start at 7), and going to Tim Hortons first. Yesterday night I didn't have any money for it, but then I went to the bank to get what Mom will eventually need for gas, and had $10 remaining for myself from that, so... yes. I truly do eat food (or drink drinks) from there more often than from home, 7-11, or work, but it's one of my things (as in something I do), and is not at all awkward going there multiple times in the same week, often day after day after day. Going back a couple nights, I went to the one across the street from the police station and ordered a couple things which I ended up using my last loonie to pay for, and then went there the night after that, ordered more things that having another loonie to pay for would've been more convenient, so I told the same lady as always "I think I have the loonie" and dug around in my wallet, but upon realizing that I didn't, told her "No, I must've given it to you last night", and she just laughed. As for the other one, the two people I see there most often almost always ask me when we're going to do a food swap, because Manoah knows one or both of them, and apparently they've wanted to set something up for a fair little while now. Culminating in going there last night and - before I'd even ordered - telling them "You might get a call from Manoah on Friday night", and yeah, that would be fun.
As for other recent concerns, however, I'm back into the state of mind that I dislike most. Generally feeling removed from things, which is different in this case because while I don't normally mind feeling removed, I do when I'm trying to work through and figure various issues out, but can't because some part of my brain is effectively blocking me from thinking about them in full detail. It's not so bad at work, because there's always something to keep me busy there, but at home, it's not nearly so easy to always be completely occupied. That sounds much too confusing though, so exactly what is it that I want? I want to be in a somewhat bad, somewhat depressed mood, with (this is what I haven't had before) somebody to actually talk through things with. I wrote a couple days ago about why discussing things online is becoming tiresome, but that is what I am after. Either that, or I would like to be in a (hypo)manic state for days - months - weeks - however long it takes for me to be able to look at and deal with these things with the same views and outlook as I've come to expect from feeling that way. I find it so much easier to objectify things when I'm feeling like that, but it never lasts. It's about time I went downstairs to get the vacuum though, and after that, maybe I'll get back into Star Ocean a little early. Since I'll end up playing it before work and all that, it would be nice to know where I'm starting off from~