Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

Sleeping In Causes Bad Dreams

I like how eleven minutes turns into a full hour. At first today I woke up at ~1:50, and was for a few minutes alert and collected enough to actually tell somebody who had sent me a message "Sorry, I'm sleeping, but only for eleven more minutes". They responded to say that it was okay, because they had a friend over anyways, and I just... went off on my own for a bit. Probably not for the best either, because I had a rather distressing dream when I went back to sleep, but a quick check of my room immediately after I woke up showed me that everything was as it should be, and that I more or less had nothing to worry or feel violated about.

You see, the general feeling at the beginning of the dream was that I'd just returned from being away for a day. I checked the mailbox as soon as I walked up the steps to the porch to find several things in there for me, and the comments and questions made to me after stepping inside were just what you'd expect after going away for a short time. Anyways, nothing was amiss at first, but then I went upstairs, and before even opening the door to my room, noticed that something felt off. As it is now, the door to my room is actually pretty stupid, in that it needs to be pulled closed first, but pulled with sufficient force to make it close on its own and then let go of, otherwise it won't close at all, and then after that, pulled in again (while closed), otherwise the lock is really tight and hard to turn all the way around. So, I noticed that that wasn't quite how I had left it, and then when I walked in, oh, well, it was a mess, which isn't right because back when I went to London on a regular basis, I always cleaned up my room before leaving, and desire to do last-minute cleaning hasn't yet faded, even though the desire to go there has somewhat. At any rate though, my bed was a mess and blankets were all strewn about, and as a matter of fact blankets that were in the spare room were on the floor in my room, but I wasn't anything more than mildly annoyed at that. Until I looked up to my top bunk, that is, and saw a large empty space where my giant tail is right now, and I immediately became quite unhappy.

I first went out to the TV room, intending to knock on their door and ask Mom and Dad if they knew where it had gone, but I couldn't see a light on under the door which meant that they were probably asleep, but I tried anyways, and was met by some sort of irritated comment from Dad. With that having failed, I went downstairs to ask Adam and Naomi, but they said the didn't know where it had gone, so back up the stairs I went again, this time planning to look around the spare room just in case they'd put it in there for some reason, but then noticed that the light in Mom and Dad's room was actually on. I knocked again, and was answered by a "Hang on a minute", and once the door was unlocked and opened, stepped in and flat-out asked them "Do either of you know where my giant tail went?" I can't remember their specific reactions, but I do recall Dad saying - as the end of his answer - that he'd taken it somewhere to let people play with or something, and had told them "You really like it? Then it's yours?" Upon hearing that, I lost it, and through increasingly teary eyes asked / told him "You said what?" I paid... three hundred dollars for that thing!" He, trying to stay on the defensive told me that if I wanted it back I should get ahold of them, and even went so far as to pick up the phone and dial the number for me, but the person on the other end was speaking so quietly - on purpose, or so it felt - that I couldn't get anywhere, and hung up. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad were exchanging looks with each other, and when I told him "Well so much for that!", he looked at me with an expression that said he was sorry, but couldn't see how he was responsible / at fault, and Mom told him "You did do that" or somesuch to make him realize he was wrong, and shortly after that the dream ended.

I was somewhat coincidentally thinking about my giant tail before going to bed last night, but I think the reason for having that dream actually stems from continuing difficulties that I've been facing for what feels like forever now. I can prove that what the other person is doing is wrong using their own words and simple logic and reason, but they'd rather blow all of that off and continue what they've been doing so far, and I refuse to allow that, but they also refuse to consider that they might actually be wrong, and won't apologize to me as such, which means it's exceedingly difficult to move on from this. It especially manifests itself today, in being Valentine's Day and me feeling somewhat unhappy about not having somebody to spend it with for another year, but at least this time around I realize I'm hardly the only one, and am thus left to just be more sullen than normal. On the good side of things though, work last night was really quite fun, if only for one specific part of the night. After things settled down somewhat, so around 1 in the morning, I told Orlando he should take the cardboard out, and followed him outside to open the dumpster. He hung around for a bit though, lighting up a cigarette, and I, not wanting to immediately go back inside either since it was nice and snowing again out, climbed up the mountain of snow beside said dumpster, and it was fun being at the top <3 Fun being so close to Orlando yet not being able to smell smoke, and fun for thinking - when Gabby asked what I was doing - "If I had my tail and ears right now, maybe it would be a bit more obvious to you", but then more customers came in and we had to go back inside, but it was fun while it lasted. I should probably end this here today so I can be ready to leave for work in a bit though. Kind of a shorter shift today, which would be better if a day off followed it, but I'll take what I can get, and hope it goes by quickly~

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