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I Really Love Micromanagement

Woke up at 4 today (yeah, I ended up sleeping in anyways), and for almost half an hour have been sitting, staring at the Files pane in uTorrent, waiting patiently for the last several pieces of the files whose priority I had set to high to complete, only so I could then switch the three of them back to normal, and scroll down to find the next three files to give a higher priority. If speeds remain as they are now, another season of Doctor Who should be done downloading before I leave for work, and I hope so, because then I can switch everything over to the next season in the list, and let that go while I'm away taking care of customers instead of doing naught but seeding until I get back home again. The good thing is that aside from the random unplanned close that George and I worked back on Monday, on which he didn't have his external drive for obvious reasons, we still aren't scheduled to close anytime soon, meaning that at present there is about a 40% chance of having all twenty-six seasons / 201GB downloaded for him by the next time we work. It'd be nice, but I also have a second thing planned for him now, or rather a third, because the second is what I thought of way back when he mentioned how his last shift would be coming up soon - making him and his mom cookies as sort of a final parting gift, because he's a nice guy, and whenever he does go off to start a trucking job, I'll miss him.

So that's idea #2, and idea #3 involves recent new developments with him. He has a couple hedgehogs as pets now, and was telling me on Monday night about their amusing tendency to get their heads stuck in cardboard tubes if they weren't cut open, and it was after he came out of the bathroom that I gave him a different suggestion. Instead of taking empty paper towel tubes from work to use for that purpose, why not take the big toilet paper tubes from the customer bathrooms? Not in so many words, of course (my method of calling attention to something is usually looking at it and waiting for the other person to catch on, or motioning at it with my head), but he thought that was an amazing idea, and started wondering aloud if there was some way to remove the tubes from the wrapped-up rolls without unraveling the whole thing. Probably not, although I did do it with one roll of paper towel before, but skipping ahead to last night, during my scavenging around in the basement for a roll of duct tape, what did I find? One cardboard tube, of roughly the same size, so I went downstairs again after I heard Dad get up, asked him to save them for somebody at work, and that should be that. Also, randomly switching back to Doctor Who for one more moment, it might be worth mentioning to say cFosSpeed isn't enabled either. Ever since I installed Windows 7, it's seemed to have either the opposite effect, or be more of a bother than good (I get way more errors in Pidgin using it compared to when it's disabled). Oh, but now that I've said that, uTorrent's download speed has dropped from a moderate ~50kB/s to ~20. Perhaps I should just keep my mouth shut...

Anyways, two entries in one day? Does this mean I'm (hypo)manic again and am going to come crashing down before the weekend gets here? I wouldn't think so, because I can still feel the same general lethargy as before, but as I kind of hinted at in my previous entry, things need to change. I don't expect anybody to have taken notice, but go, have a look at all of my entries starting from at least 2008. To my knowledge, every. single. entry ends with a tilde, which was in many cases forced, and I recall a handful of entries in which I said I needed to find an open-ended or positive note to finish on so I could end it with a tilde, but the "<3" in my entry last night changes that. It's not like I see consistency and following a certain pattern of behavior to be a bad thing, but it's time I set that pattern of behavior aside, and found a new one. I'm already considering how, too. First of all, this posting an entry every day thing is nice, but sticking to that isn't always easy. It has been somewhat falling apart recently anyways, what with that couple-day break I took earlier this month, and the series of protected entries I posted leading up to my 2,000th back in November, I think, but that officially changes today. I will endeavor to continue writing at least one entry each day, but if ever I should feel frustrated with the way it's coming out and find myself thinking that I just want to find something else to work up a short paragraph on so I can be done, I'll set it aside for however long it takes to find things that I actually want to write about. Then going to the other extreme of that, if there should ever be days where I want to write more than one entry, I will. In the past I would've opted to wait until after midnight, so the next list of things I wanted to write about could become my entry for a new day, but quite a lot of the time my mood will have changed by or before midnight, leading to just going to bed, and possibly missing a day. Put into one sentence, before today, I adhered as closely as possible to a strict schedule, but now I want to do away with that schedule, and work things according to what I feel like doing. Almost exactly how volunteering at Heart and Stroke goes, actually.

The other thing I want to do is give my journal here a purpose. Something that allows me to say "I'm doing this with it", because even though I'm not supposed to compare myself to other people and be happier for it, I have been extremely distraught lately about how even though I can prove that other person is wrong, they're still creating things and giving back to other people, yet what have I created recently? A guide for Pic Pic, and a guide for Picross DS is about all. Hardly worth considering, in other words. Anyways, what I was thinking last night is starting to write entries in here that would help other people who feel the same way as me deal with those emotions, and move on from them in a careful and respectful manner. Even though it's highly presumptuous of me to even think that there are other people in the world who feel the same way I do about certain aspects of sexuality and emotional difficulties and such, I like the idea of writing entries in here that are meant to teach tolerance and understanding, and I can think of no better way to work through those things myself. They don't all have to be things I'm uncomfortable with either, because there's a fair bit that I'm completely fine with the thought of, that is / are considered bad or vile or evil by the rest of the world. So in other words, it's not so much writing entries designed to force other people to accept alternate ways of thinking, but rather to give them a different perspective on the issue.

I can be better and I will be better, but I really ought to be better right now by responding to the guy I'm commissioning icons from who has been waiting to hear from me for a day and a half now. Which was actually something else I was going to write about, but maybe later. I want to leave for work a little earlier than normal to redeem the free drink "ticket" I have, as well as needing to visit the bank to get gas money, and at present, that gives me about forty minutes. Of course, it'll probably fly by way too quickly, but that's why I should get started now~

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