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I Am: Pompous and Arrogant

I would do it if I didn't still remember what happened a week or so ago. Thanks to waking up early to go to Heart and Stroke today, and other things from the day before that, I'm beyond tired, and really have no desire to write this outside of that it's keeping me from going to bed. I do suppose that even if I did, calling it a night an hour and a half earlier than normal isn't going to affect my sleep pattern(s) any, or cause me to wake up at 6 or 7 and not be able to get back to sleep because of all the unpleasant thoughts swimming through my mind, but I'd rather not take the chance, and also don't want this three day break to turn into four. Before I get going on that though, what happened back at the beginning of the week that was so bad? I woke up at 12:30 and stayed up for exactly the same reasons I just mentioned, and was an extremely unstable mood for most of the day because of that, and oh, work was pleasant as well. It'll be three nights in a row just recently where I've walked in to piles of both dishes and cardboard at the back, and the supper staff on Monday were not at all pleasant, but that deserves a bit of venting.

Dear everybody but James, although for all I know he could've gotten in on it, but only once he was out of earshot: I'm in the dining room, yes. I'm sitting at the table I always do, playing Mario's Picross 2 on my PSP and slowly sipping my tea from Tim Hortons. I can't expect you guys to know what's going on in my mind, but suffice it to say I'm in no shape to deal with you yelling at me before my shift starts. In fact, I'm finding it hard enough to concentrate on the game I'm playing, but let's set that aside for a bit. Gabby, I know you don't exactly like me, and I'm certainly not always thrilled to see that I close with you when new schedules are put up, but if you have something to say, please come out into the dining room, and tell me in a normal tone of voice. I don't need you shouting "You have five minutes to change and count your till!" when my PSP, which is about four minutes slow, tells me that it's only 7:50. Oh, what's that? Yes, I'm aware of the rule, but I frankly don't care for it, and your real intent - being that you only wanted to exert the control you seem to think that you have over me as a manager - became obvious the moment I changed in record time (entirely unintentional, mind you), counted my till just as quickly, and brought it down to drive through, only for James to not ask George for his keys until 8. Come to find out from George later on that you asked him to say that to me first. Right. Because I'm completely oblivious to noticing when people behave differently than normal. Anyways, next time, save your yelling until after I've changed and clocked in. That way you don't look foolishly preemptive, and I actually have to listen to you because I'm on the clock.

Moving on, I heard Ang say "You're not better than the rest of us just because you", followed by several words that I missed, and then "cat". No, Ang, I may not be better than you for whatever reason you gave, but I am different, and I'm proud of that fact. If you don't mind me asking, how many smoke breaks have you taken today? Two? Three? Maybe even four? It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest, so please follow along when I say stop, and ask yourself what makes you any better than I am. Perhaps you could also say whatever piece of wisdom you had to share to my face next time as well, instead of wandering off to the back mid-sentence.

Then, in regards to Manoah, I actually thought you were sticking up for me at first, but asking George exactly what happened back there once you'd all gone home revealed that you'd apparently sided with Gabby and Ang. Now, I realize George may have been incorrect, so I give the following advisement as a word of caution only. Back in February, you got quite angry upon catching me talking about you to James behind your back. What I did was wrong, too, and I like to think we've since apologized and made up for that, so just be careful. I really don't want us to have another heated argument right now, because I have enough on my mind as is.

As for me, I said - in a tone of voice that they would've been able to hear had they listened - that I was scheduled to start at 8, thus I would start at 8 (and sure enough, I didn't clock in until 8). Looking back now it's probably best that they didn't hear that, because if they did their responses might very well have had me in tears at latest by the time I came back out of the bathroom, but it's equally good that I didn't say the other thing I was thinking of - "You might as well write me up then". I really can't believe I'm going to say this, but I can't wait for Spring and Summer. I haven't been sitting outside recently because there's a big pile of snow in my spot, and to sit with my back up against the fence as is it now would be uncomfortable, but once that melts and I can enjoy some peace and quiet and solitude before each of my shift start, I'll be happier for it. Not so much with the heat and humidity, but trading that for being inside in the same general area as everybody else is quite fair.

What's more, if all of that wasn't enough, Monday night went almost exactly the same as Sunday did. It took me until midnight to catch up on all of the dishes from the rest of the day, and once that was done, I got to take an entire day's worth of cardboard boxes out to the dumpster, which George was kind enough to collapse for me, at least. I just can't do this for much longer. Technically I only have to last until the 24th, which is when things will be changing for several days (very much related to buying a train ticket), but even that seems impossibly far away.

In other news, I can't think of very much else right now. The past couple days have been of a mostly grating variety, but I finally got the spare camera batteries that were shipped out on January 31st this morning, so that much is good. For what it's worth, this is directly related to something I said in that series of entries with LJ-cuts recently though. I didn't want to click the link I was provided with for the sake of my emotional stability, but I had to anyways, and here we are. Does it help any that I predicted it? Not really. The only way that would be of any assistance is if I prepared for becoming upset at the first sign of that happening, and I didn't.

I think I'm just going to go to bed though. This isn't working tonight, and it's now after 5, so I don't have to worry as much about the time. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to think more clearly...

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