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Who Needs an Alarm Clock?

Right. Now more than anything I am just... scared to go back to sleep. I wish I could offer some definite, proven reason for why my dreams are so out there and ridiculous and worrisome lately, but, well... I had three last night that I can remember, so let's just go through them in order.

Dream 1] Customers are Jerks
I was at work, obviously, having just started my shift. I had been put on drive through, on what felt like a night from back when I first started there. Things went fine for the first little bit, until a group of guys who would just not give it a rest and behave themselves came through. I can't remember all of what they did or said, but the few bits that are still lingering at the back of my mind involve me giving the driver their change, and him throwing it back at me, which I caught in one hand with ease and threw right back at him. He collected as much as he could find from the floor of his car, and threw it back at me again with a ridiculous smile on his face, and that's when I decided I would just keep it. Forget playing that game of "Behave yourself. Take your change, take your food, and kindly never come back again until you learn to act your age". At that point I set the pile of change (several dollars worth) down, and turned around for a few seconds to pour their drinks. What would I see when I turned back around, but the drawer of the till open, but with the drawer of money missing.

Mild irritation quickly turned into full-fledged anger as I turned to the window and surprisingly calmly and levelly said "Hey guys, can I have my drawer of money back please?" There wasn't any sense of maliciousness to it either. It was as if they were aiming solely to give me a hard time, and to that effect, they simply giggled amongst themselves as they sifted through all the coins, looking on in apparent wonder at what they'd done, while the sole voice of reason - a girl in the back seat - said "Look, he gave us lots of sauce and large drinks for free, so let's just give this back and leave. The other passengers and driver, however, would have none of that, and drove off with all of the money that was in currently in my name, leaving me feeling somewhere between anxious and angry. I remember calling down to Manoah, who was making food, "If you ever put me on drive through again, I'll quit!", and then worrying about what was going to happen. I didn't want to tell him or Sheila, who was also working at the time what had happened, because I feared they would just blame me, and there was another customer who still had to pay for their food, who I dearly hoped would be paying with debit, since I didn't have any change. Just my luck that they handed me a 20 dollar bill then, and I told them "It'll just be a minute for your change, alright?", as I ran to the back to freak out and wish that I could just be back at home. Eventually I decided that I would be better off accepting responsibility and paying them back with my own money - the change the previous customer had thrown at me - so I went up front again, counted out exactly $3.54, which was fun because there weren't enough pennies at first, so I decided I would just give them $3.55, at which point five pennies materialized in the pile), and that was that, for what felt like several hours, but laying in bed was probably only a couple minutes, if not seconds.

Right at the end of the night the driver of the first group of customers came back with the drawer and all money that was in it before presumably still intact, to give it back and presumably apologize for what they'd done. Thing is, he didn't apologize so much as give me the drawer of money then try to high-five me through the window, which I was having none of. There's a limit to what I find funny, so yes, maybe if I'd known all of those guys really well and we were friends (minus the girl, but only because she was the only one to have behaved maturely the entire time, although it would've been nicer if she had brought the drawer back instead), I'd have ultimately found a way to laugh it off and admonished them never to it to anybody else, and not wait until the end of the night to come back, but in the dream, I gave him a look that was somewhere between hurt and annoyed, and as he was getting back into his car, I stuck my head out the window and asked him to "Please never do that again". That'll teach 'em.

Dream 2] Lost in an Unfamiliar Place
This one started with me coming home from a trip. A trip from where, I couldn't say, but I had never been there before. I knew how to get back to the train station, at least, and this dream actually started just after I got onto the train. Unlike how it is in real life, passengers boarded the train from the front, much like a bus, showed the engineer their ticket, and walked back to find a seat. I, however, not being entirely sure of where that train was headed, showed the engineer my ticket and asked "Will this train take me all the way back home?" He shook his head and explained that I'd have to transfer to a second train, at a completely different station about halfway down the line, but would make an exception for me and stop in that city so I could jump out and make my way over to the second half of my trip home. Problem is, I had never been in the city I was dropped off in, made even better by the fact that I had been let off at a random railroad crossing instead of at one of the two stations in the city itself (assuming one existed for the first train), and I didn't know my way around. I couldn't see any visual cues that would indicate a main street where I might find somebody who could give me directions, and as standing still wasn't going to do me any good, I just started walking. Eventually I reached the end of the street I was on, and glanced right and left down the street perpendicular to that first one. To my left, I saw more houses, and to my right, I saw more houses, but with the addition of wind blowing from that direction. At first I was going to turn left and walk down that way for a bit, but then I realized the only reason I wanted to do that is so I wouldn't have to walk into the wind.

I can't remember whether or not I ever chose a direction, but I stood there for quite a while longer thinking about how I'd come to be there, and why I needed to transfer to a different train mid-journey which doesn't make sense for inter-city trips. I wondered what would've happened if I'd stayed on the first train, and wondered how I was going to get home from there, as I don't think I had my wallet, nor my PSP so I could at least try to get an idea of what city I was in. Even though the streets were lined with houses, I didn't think I could explain my situation to any of their occupants. As clichéd as the idea is, it felt like a city from various spooky ghost stories that you could enter, but never leave. I think I actually forced myself awake after that one though. I needed to prove that what I was seeing and experiencing was all in my mind, and indeed it worked, but with a curious side effect. I was still extremely tired upon waking up, so much that I thought I was still asleep, thus I attempted to wake myself up again, which had the complete opposite effect, causing me to fall asleep once more. At least that's what it felt like. It was sudden, and I felt the entire transition from my half-asleep state to being fully out again, because the third dream started up immediately afterward.

Dream 3] Customers are Jerks, Redux
Apparently I had been able to make it back home between when the previous dream ended and this one started, because I was upstairs in my room, sitting on the floor. Or rather everybody was up in my room except for Mom. I'm not sure what we were doing or what we were talking about, but there was also a fifth person beside me, to the right, who would occasionally write something down on a notepad they brought with them. After a short while they got up to leave the room for a minute, dropping said notepad on the floor, so I picked it up and looked inside to find point form descriptions of everything about me. Everything about who I was, and what I had done recently (including the events detailed in the descriptions of the previous two dreams), and so on. It's a shame they returned so quickly, because I would've liked to read more, but they came back in short order, followed by us resuming our conversation, until somebody else opened the door without knocking, and without introducing themselves, motioned for the note-taking person to move aside, and crouched down, staring straight at me. It was a policewoman, and after confirming my identity, said I needed to put my hands on my head and follow her, because I was under arrest. I - and everybody else, of course - asked why, and she explained that a customer (I'm sure you can guess who) from the place I work at had filed a complaint against me saying I threw change at him, which constituted assault or something, hence her barging in.

I, being very much caught by surprise but still wanting to make sure she heard the full story before anything else happened, said "I'm sure this won't make any difference now...", and she laughed, as if to say that it probably would, but she just wanted to see my reaction, and then as quickly as she started laughing, adopted an even more stern look than before and said "No, it won't, but let's hear it anyways". I explained how the customer had thrown change at me first, and then a second time once I threw it back at him, and then, feeling like I was about to cry, got up and started walking toward the door. It seemed a good idea to tell Mom what had happened too though, and I explained as much to the policewoman, who, just as she did when coming into my room, barged through the TV room and ripped open the door to Mom's, where I reached over her bed to wake her up, and said "I just got arrested!" in an oddly glee-filled voice. Sort of like saying "This has never happened before, but now it has! Ha ha!" After that I turned around, and asked the policewoman if I could bring something to write in, since she didn't say how long I would be in jail for, and I figured it would keep me busy. She said that would be fine, so I went back into my room to get my little notebook and a pencil, where everybody except for Naomi expressed their sympathy.

She, however... Well, my bedroom is on the second floor of the house, first of all. This dream took place in the same bedroom, and yet she was at the window, in our van. Kind of like the dream I had back when I first got my job about the window in my room being the drive through window at work. There's nothing quite like actually going there and putting in a full night of effort, only to come home and have to do even more in your sleep. Anyways, she was at the window in the van, which was pretty absurd now that I think about it, and unlike everybody else, was making fun of me. Nothing extremely spiteful, but making it sound like I deserved it. I asked Adam, who was sitting on my bed, to "pull out a chunk of her hair", and then I woke up, once more, at which point I decided it was time to stay awake, lest anything even worse or stranger happen if I fell asleep again.

Now, what do you suppose might have caused those? The second one is definitely related both to the trip I have coming up, which involves traveling by train, and then subway once I get to my destination, and reading more of the same thread-full of scary stories that I found at least a year ago before going to bed. The third, however, is almost certainly related to item number one over here, as I read that article just before going to bed. Then for the first, I really don't know. Work last night was completely normal, and in fact the most recent memory I have of anything going bad or wrong there happened a week ago, and that was related to James getting impatient with a couple customers instead. Manoah, on the other hand, was getting quite heated about how somebody who used to work there is supposed to be coming down to visit over the March break. They want to hang out with him, but he feels that the people he thinks of as friends only want him as a friend when they want to do something. He asked if I understood what he was trying to say, and I nodded, meanwhile thinking about how it was all I could do not to tell him of my situation in regards to the same.

The night before last I was talking to somebody online, and they asked if I was planning to go to a certain furry convention this year. They asked one other time recently, and it turned into an extremely sensitive topic then, because I thought the only reason they were asking is because they wanted me to go, so this second time I answered with a simple "No, I am not". I enjoyed going to MFF back in 2008, but in total I spent probably just under 24 hours on the con floor, most of that wandering from one end to the other, and it doesn't make sense to go back to another one of those to just end up doing the same thing, even if I wanted to. Admittedly I wouldn't mind the idea of meeting certain people there as much as I thought I would before, but consider this: I am comfortable, at most, being part of a small group. Five or six people at most, which is why I still think so fondly of that night back in London where several people hung around after the furmeet and we ordered pizza. Or the other time we went to McDonalds shortly after midnight. In a small group, where we aren't together for any specific purpose. Conventions, however, are much too large. I'm not exactly afraid of large groups of people, but being around them drains me of all energy like you wouldn't believe. I spent most of my time after the first day at MFF in our room because I couldn't go back downstairs without it actually hurting, unless I was on my way out to get food. Otherwise, I knew very few people there, so what was the overall point to going? To be able to say I'd been there, and that I'd done that. I understand the main idea of those functions is to get together and hang out with friends you otherwise would've only talked to online, but I am not that sociable. Give me an event where only a handful of people are present, and I know at least half of them, and sure. I'm not even joking when I say it's easier that way either. Friends are just... they don't work for me. As for why I chose to write about it in here, I was talking to myself about it on the way home last night, and opted to send out an email and go to bed almost immediately after I got home, so I didn't get to writing about it then.

Might I go to one of those events in the future, however? I honestly don't think so. Even if my preferring solitude and associating with only a couple people changes, there's something to be said for small, personal gatherings. Not to mention attending a furry convention implies that all attendees are furry, which I am not, but I've explained that before.

As such, to end on a couple random notes, I went to Tim Hortons for a sandwich while it was snowing the other night. Around 1 or 1:30 in the morning, at any rate, and the sandwich I ordered was ham and swiss, which I came home and unwrapped to put some salt on, only to find out that it was swiss, with no ham. At first I considered just eating that and not going back, but I did, and honestly meant it when I told the lady at the counter that even though the bag was quite wet on one side, all I needed was some ham, but she took it from me and tossed the entire thing in the garbage with a scowl and "No...", and proceeded to make me a new sandwich. Then the guy who had taken my order and made the first sandwich came up and after a short pause realized his mistake, then I got my new sandwich, and made my way back home again. All in all more amusing than anything, but the fact that she threw out the old one even though I specifically said they could just put some ham on it (or give me the ham to put on it) and it would be fine was moderately annoying. Less so considering I didn't really need anything else to eat, and only wanted to go out for a walk in the snow, but yes. As for things with that commission mentioned in my previous entry, the last I heard from the artist was that they would prefer to give me a refund, as they didn't think they could give me my money's worth anymore. Unless they're referring to not having nor being able to acquire any more of either color of plastic I asked for, I'm just as miffed about that. They've kept me waiting for year now, right, so why don't I have the option of waiting even longer? Sure, if they can't get either the clear or cream-colored plastic, then I would rather have my money back, but it's $14. Please, keep it and give me what the auction was for once your other concerns are dealt with and taken care of. I'd rather leave positive feedback with a six or seven out of ten than I would neutral, with a description of "Waited a year, with spotty communication, and my money was refunded. No high or low marks."

It's just about time to leave for work now though, so I'm off. If nothing else today, I plan on treating it differently than my last supper shift. No more trying to get along with Sheila and Melissa just because we're working together, and by that I mean last time I ordered a tea from Tim Hortons before work, which I wasn't able to finish in time, and it quickly got busy, leading me to saying that I wanted to go back and finish it once Melissa returned from her smoke break, and when she did, she instructed me to "Go finish your damn tea". I realize she was probably joking, but I don't have the time for that. Nor do I have the time to be sitting here continuing to write, so I am off~

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