I'm pretty sure I have tomorrow off, at least. I meant to check the schedule before I left work tonight to be sure of what time I started on Monday, but it wasn't there anymore. The only piece of information I have to go on is that I know I close on Monday, and then again on Wednesday, which is going to be wonderfully pleasant for getting home from work, packing up as much stuff as possible, and hopefully being in bed asleep by 5. After all, I'd like to be up at noon on Thursday, but we'll see. It's fun though. I'm still looking forward to the train ride there, for (I can't remember if I said this before or not), the approximately two-hour trip during which I won't be able to do anything else but sit there, wait, and relax. At home or at work, there's always that nagging feeling that says I could be doing something else - something more productive, or even just something besides sitting there staring blankly ahead - but on the train, I can't spontaneously decide to go for a long walk, just as much as I can't decide to go out to Tim Hortons or 7-11 for snacks. And even though that sounds more confining and unfun than anything, I think it should be quite enjoyable. Although what I'm really looking forward to doing is getting to just outside of London, and pulling out my camera to record a movie of the train approaching the station, followed by passengers disembarking and the long line of people waiting in the station to board the train, and then slowly starting to move again <3 I'm even shaking with excitement right now, but that reminds me of one little grievance I have with a certain person. A certain person who writes certain things for certain other people.
Why is it that they responded to me mentioning - as I am in this case - shaking when I was talking to them in MSN before by telling me that I should listen to what I was saying and get professional help, when they said the same of themselves - that they were shaking - in a different email some time before that? Why is it that it's not okay for my issues with people and friends to more or less center around insecurity, while they can tell me about how being insecure makes them think nasty things about people? I feel the same way, sir. You seriously don't want to know the nasty things I've imagined regarding you over this seemingly unending mess (I'm not depressed about it now, but most certainly am irritated and angry), so just... I don't know what to do, really, but in an innocently helpless way in this case. It's like it's fine for other people to have problems with the same things I do, but only because they have a reason for or can justify it. My "reasons", to call them such are nothing more than realizing that if other people knew how I felt about things involving them (past friends / acquaintances, for the most part), they'd think I was a jerk and want nothing to do with me, and instead of having to go through that just to have some sort of an amiable relationship with another person, I might as well avoid those interactions as much as possible. That is, I'm doing what I think is best, but my experiences with explaining that to other people have thus far been hit-and-miss. One person (mentioned above) ignored pretty much everything I said, and the other has apparently accepted it, but haven't said anything else one way or the other. This is fun too, I guess. I'm about 80% certain that I'm different from most other people, but in what way, and why? Was I always like this, or did something happen during any of the other 25 years of my life to effect this certain way of acting and thinking?
Questions can wait for now though, because I have only to more quick things to share, and then I am going to bed. The first is that I've walked past both Tim Hortons' near here before late at night, to see them filled with old people. Tonight, however, was the first time I found myself stuck in the middle of that. I should've realized something was going on when I walked past at least 15 other people between Harvey's and Tim Hortons on the way home from work. Probably up at the Capitol Theater, because they were all dressed nicely and such, but I continued on, wanting to get a sandwich and a green tea from Tim Hortons for supper, which I would take home to eat and drink. I did get both of those eventually, for what it's worth, but was waiting in line with four other people behind me for at least ten minutes. It was out the door, in fact, so I suppose the moral here is to, next time I see an already-large line inside the building, go to the one over on Lacroix. As for quick thing 2, last night at work, a customer pointed at James and asked me "Is that cat boy?" My answer was "No... I am...", to which a passenger in the back seat of that vehicle said "See! I told you it was him!" Yeah. James looks absolutely nothing like me, and also, I am a guy, if anything. Not a boy. At least it's different than the people who meow just as they're driving away, but yes... I do find it both interesting and odd to be recognized by people I don't know, but some of the things they say and ask catch me by surprise. And on that note it is bedtime. I don't yet know what sorts of things I will occupy myself with tomorrow, but I can at least put this bowl on the floor so it's ready to be taken downstairs in the morning~