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Something is Really Off

Tired. I don't know what the reason for it is, but I have been waking up really early recently, which is to say anywhere from noon until 1pm, no matter what time I go to bed. That's also off too as a result of waking up earlier than I would normally, but the thing is I don't really notice any more. If I start to get tired and it's after midnight, then I go to bed, simple as that. Even despite what I said the night I went to bed early and woke up around 4 only to immediately have what I still think was a panic attack, there's no sense forcing myself to stay awake when I don't have anything else to do, and unfortunately that is an awful lot lately. And then work tonight was just... bad at first, but it picked up slightly by the end of the night, mostly because it was busy up until George started washing the dishes to help, after which point there were no other customers until a couple minutes after we'd closed. That aside though, I am starting to wonder again. How much longer can I do this? How much longer can I do the same thing(s) shift after shift after shift? At first I thought that being away in Toronto for a week would help, and my first couple shifts were interesting and challenging again, but now everything is back to being just how it used to be - not necessarily not challenging, but definitely uninteresting. What's more, further to going away to Toronto, I knew full well that my first pay upon coming back home would be on the low side, but I was not prepared for only ~$280, when $50 of that will be going to pay for the internet before I next get paid, and another $100 (at least) will be needed to pay for supper on Saturday. I do thankfully have everything I need to make the new cake recipe I want to try, but unfortunately I forgot that stuff in the walk-in at work, and thus need to retrieve it tomorrow on our way home from going grocery shopping.

That's another thing though. Grocery shopping. Not at Real Canadian Superstore, but at Food Basics, mostly for personal baking-related needs. Every time I go there I spend around $20 (tonight it was closer to $30 though), and I've been at least four times since the 29th. Baking is nice and I do enjoy it, but apparently I need to hold back somewhat on trying new recipes just for the sake of trying them or something. Maybe one or two per pay-period would work better, because as it stands, I don't expect to make it through the next two weeks without going below my minimum. I have enough food for at least six meals, more if I'm able to get several more pieces of left-over flatbread next time I close, but still, internet money plus Father's Day supper plus gas money plus maybe one or two trips to 7-11 equals a fair bit of money, not to mention possible computer-related expenses.

That all started yesterday afternoon, with a perfectly well-intentioned offer to install Windows 7 on Trish's laptop assuming she had everything of value or importance backed up. I showed her how to use the external drive Naomi didn't want, so she went through and did that, then I restarted the laptop to boot from my USB install stick, and watched it power off at varying points during startup. Trish said that it had been acting up for a while, and that leaving it for a bit usually helped, so we did and everything was fine right up until the last step of Windows 7's installation. It seemingly hung at the "Completing installation" stage so I turned it off intending to try either installing from the USB stick a second time, or using a DVD, but then it would not stay on long enough to do anything at all. Skip ahead through her being quite frightened at the prospect of having to get a new laptop, and it was agreed that at that point we'd tried everything else, so it couldn't hurt to actually take the laptop apart and see whether or not there was dust plugging it up, and if so, how much. That led to having the thing taken apart all over the kitchen table, right down to the motherboard, and at first I was stumped because there didn't appear to be much dust, but in attempting to reinstall the heatsink back onto the CPU, I noticed the fan detached from it, and inside there was a whole big clump of dust covering the entire thing. You'd think all we needed to do then was clean the dust out and reassemble the laptop, but no, it wouldn't be that simple. The thermal paste on the CPU and heatsink had dried out, and I explained to Trish that even if removing that dust made it so that the laptop would boot normally again, not having the paste covering the CPU would cause worse damage when that overheated. So now we're waiting until tomorrow, then going out to Future Shop at the same time we go grocery shopping for thermal paste. I did make sure to check that the laptop still worked once it had been put back together (and it does), but I don't want to leave it on for more than five seconds or so.

As for the desktop computer, it was just frozen at the startup disk check when I walked through the dining room earlier. And was again when I restarted the computer, when into the kitchen to make some lunch, and came back out. The weird part was that pressing a key to skip the disk check didn't work, as if the keyboard wasn't recognized. Thankfully, removing all USB devices except for the mouse and keyboard solved that problem, and from there I was able to boot into Safe Mode, disable the startup disk check in the registry, and restart into normal mode. The possible expenses part of this comes in in that I hope the hard drive isn't failing. I'm not sure how long we've had that computer for, but regardless, I really would rather not have to buy a new hard drive for it. Secondly, the monitor is kind of broken. The power button is loose, and it has a tendency to turn itself off when the computer itself is displaying a solid-black screen, leading to needing to turn it off and wait several minutes before turning it back on again, otherwise it won't work. I'm obviously not too enthusiastic about replacing the monitor either (were it my computer or at least one that I sat down in front of to use more than once every couple months, then sure, but Adam is the only one who uses it on a regular basis, and he doesn't have the money to even pay for half the price of a new monitor.

On the better side of things though (because I'm getting tired), both George and Brandon came over after work tonight (Brandon because he was getting a ride home and we came here first), and had a fun time waiting for George's TV shows to be updated. George also got one of his Sonic Screwdrivers, as well as that cake I made for him, and Brandon mostly just either sat or laid on my bed doing things on his laptop because I let him use our wireless internet. I should've probably asked him to remove the connection information before he left, but yeah. Brandon also had some movies to give to George, and during that time George tried playing Portal on my laptop which was fairly amusing. It's just nice having people over here, but yeah, I can't stay awake any longer. At least it's nearly 6am tonight~

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