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The End Never Comes...

I really thought I was past all of this. I was in a bad place back at the end of 2010, as well as a couple months into this year, but it's going on just about one week until July already, and I'm still having these periods of time where I stop writing entries in here and don't want to do much else either so I can deal with how I feel. It's kind of unfair, no?

Well, it probably would be if that was actually the reason I've been absent since Friday. In actuality, however, I have been feeling physically unwell. From going to work on Friday afternoon noticing absolutely nothing unusual about the way my body felt to walking home shortly after 10pm aching all over and feeling as if I was about to fall asleep right there in the middle of the sidewalk, it's been mostly unpleasant, but has progressed to mostly just coughing alot today instead of being really tired and otherwise unwell. I'm not sure where this came from though. At first I suspected one of the many customers who came into the dining room at work on Friday, because I was on front cash then, and as mentioned above, started to feel ill several hours after my shift began, but there is another distinct possibility: Trish's laptop. "Just maybe" is what I think, because when I detached the fan from the heatsink and showed her all the dust, she pointed out a bunch of differently-colored specks amongst it and told me about something that happened with one of her roommates that would explain its presence in her laptop.

Either way, I called in sick on Sunday because that was one of the days I couldn't even stand up without becoming breathless, but went in for my 5 - 12 shift yesterday, both because I was feeling marginally better, and because I didn't want to have to force somebody to cover my shift again. One of the first annoying comments along those lines came from Manoah, who, in fun, said that he assumed I had called in because it was Father's Day and we had plans. In the most pointed voice I could muster, I told him that no, I was actually sick, and went back to thinking about something different that Sheila said. When I went in yesterday, I immediately checked the deployment list to find my name under "Steam / Stuff", and dejectedly went over to sit at the table next to the one Brandon was at, put my head down with a sigh, and barely audibly say something like "I'm here until 12, Sheila. Please put me on front cash, since I'm going to end up there anyway". Brandon heard that whispering and asked what I said, so I explained that I was in no shape to be making food. While I could stand up and maintain a rate of steady breathing that day, I could not at all move quickly without the same breathlessness coming back, and didn't feel like having to put up with that all afternoon. Upon hearing that, he (Brandon) said that he was supposed to be on front cash, but would switch with me if I wanted, which I accepted with much relief. Then, however, after I went back into the staff bathroom to change and walked up to the middle again, I told Sheila what Brandon and I had discussed / arranged, and asked if it was alright with her. The response? "Well Chris is already on line and neither he or Brandon are really strong, but if you're not feeling well I guess I have no choice." Her seeing me as strong on that position is appreciated, but the "guess I have no choice" remark was not, especially because George came in and took over responsibility of line at 6. The rest of the night was pretty much a blur. I remember taking a few customers' orders while I was so tired that it felt like I wasn't even there, and somehow I managed to get the dining room completely cleaned up and ready for morning before the end of my shift, then also slowly tiptoed (almost) home, and laid down in bed knowing that my next shift isn't until Friday, and I have alot of other work to do between now and then.

I really, really need to organize my torrents, for one. They're going to fill up my hard drive soon enough, and the only reason I haven't taken care of that before now is (surprise surprise) that I didn't have the energy to. Brandon actually asked if I would download Dragon Ball Z and Family Guy for him yesterday, and I still have several more seasons of The Red Green Show to get, plus many other things that don't fit into any specific category, such as the Hoodwinked! soundtrack and so on. Then I have to clean up my desktop, which I started doing on Saturday, but then going to supper at Kelsey's came along, and I haven't gotten back to that since. Supper was pretty good, although I don't know what I was thinking ordering a pastrami sandwich. The broccoli soup I asked to have on the side instead of fries was delicious, but the meat on the sandwich was, well, suffice it to say I don't like how pastrami tastes. It was just one of the less-expensive sandwiches on the menu, so yeah. As for things to do though, I figure I'll make it interesting for myself. Even though supper on Saturday and going out to 7-11 for ice cream on Sunday leaves me with only $3 to spare (technically), if I'm able to finish all of that tonight, I'll go out to 7-11 for a treat. No candies, of course, because it'd be grossly irresponsible to handle them when I'm presumably still contagious, but I kind of wanted a sub last night, and a packet of flavored jellybeans would also be nice.

I ought to get to work on that as such, but first, two friends-related things have happened recently that I wanted to share. The first goes that as mentioned several times before, Dan (and Xion, after adding him to my MSN list) both said at least one thing to indicate the possibility of a third visit to Toronto, but it's been nagging at me that they didn't say when, and I don't want to be rude by just asking "Can I stay there for another week?" As well, I figured I'd wait until I had some more money saved up to even think about approaching either of them, but then, last week, Dan came right out and asked "Do you think you would visit again in August, maybe?" I told him maybe, because while I'll definitely have my vacation pay then (apparently it comes on July 16th), I don't want to push my luck by asking for too much time off, so I asked George last night if he knew what the maximum amount of time we were allowed to book off in a year was, and all he could say was that he went away for a week at least 4 times last year, and that I should just check with Melissa a month or two in advance. Oh, and apparently there's a full moon on one of the Saturdays in August, which is why I've been asked about visiting again. I honestly am not sure what that means (outside of being uncommon), but it might happen. As for the second, it involves George, and somewhat his mom as well. As also mentioned before, I made a cake for them in return for the carton of eggs, and finally got to hear what he / they thought of it yesterday afternoon. Apparently George got one single tiny piece, his brothers got a slightly larger one (one piece for each of them, of course), his dad got at least one piece, and his mom ate the rest, simultaneously proclaiming how good it tasted, and lamenting how bad it was for her diet. And did I get something else in return from them? Oh yes. A flat of eggs this time, which appears to be 30. Kind of makes me want to have eggs for supper instead of going out to 7-11, but I had the same idea last night, and decided on mushrooms and gravy (but no noodles) instead.

I think that's all for now though. There are a couple other bits of interest that I didn't get to writing about above (such as how that cheesecake turned out), but I'm getting tired again, and might take a quick nap as such before I start to work on my torrents and desktop. I do have plenty of time, after all....

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