Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

I Shouldn't Have Rushed

Since I forgot to write about some other things yesterday, I'm just going to start as far back as I can remember, and work my way up to now. At least I hope, that is, because it's already 5:20, meaning I want to leave for work in an hour and ten minutes to go to Money Mart first. At any rate, let's start with a dream about Value Village.

a] As Mentioned Before, a Dream About Value Village
While I can't remember specifically what I was looking for, I was there, browsing around for something or another, and eventually made my way over to where the changing rooms are in the location here in Chatham. In the dream, however, the stalls were replaced with the rack(s) of toys from the adjacent wall, and in amongst those, I noticed several large tails, about the same size as my big skunk-striped one. In fact, one was exactly the same as mine, except it was light green instead of purple, and on the shelf below it, I noticed a smaller (but still larger than normal) snow leopard tail. The odd thing about it was instead of being made of normal spotted fur (which I can understand, because if it had been, the scale would've been terribly off), it was all-white, with what I assume were supposed to be large spots sewn single-file in a rough line on top. They looked absolutely terrible though. The spots themselves were just large patches of a sort, so they were absolutely flat, with no dimension or pile to speak of, so the fur on the tail was nice and, well, furry, but there were all these bald spots down the tail where the patches were sewn on. I didn't think of all of that at first though, so my initial reaction was to want the tail really really badly, but feeling only disappointment from not having enough money to buy it, because even though they were in Value Village, the price on it was still quite close to what I paid for my big skunk tail. That dream ended shortly thereafter, but the regret carried on, and I was actually really (extremely, even) depressed and upset, but only for as long as I was sleeping. After I woke up, I started to recall events of that dream, and realized that I wouldn't be caught dead with such shoddy or poorly-made product, and that was more or less that.

b] Being at the Right Place at the Right Time (for Batteries)
I pretty much went directly downstairs upon waking up yesterday. There was nothing urgent to be done in my room, and I didn't want to waste any time starting into enjoying my day off. Unfortunately, I received a low battery warning after only a few minutes of playing Super Mario Galaxy, so I put the controller down, and picked up my laptop instead, to look for batteries on Staples' and Future Shop's websites. In the end, I settled upon a package of four rechargable AA batteries that came with a charger for ~$30 at Future Shop, so I asked Mom if we could go out there, and we did. I couldn't find the same bundle at first, even though I was bent over in front of the rack of batteries for a good five minutes, but just as I looked over to my right and saw what appeared to be what I'd found online, one of the employees, who had been standing at the counter the entire time told me they had a basket of batteries on sale, and an Energizer bundle of what I had been looking for (instead of Panasonic, which I was after before) was in there for only $6. They appear to be working well too - two fully-charged batteries lasted the entire night yesterday (and still had some charge left when I packed everything up to go to bed) - so I am needless-to-say pleased with that. I am, of course, also being sure to keep the charger and all four batteries in sight at all times, because I know right now that if I leave them downstairs, something from among them will go missing or become broken inside of a week.

c] My Mind Has Other Thoughts
Yesterday night was worse because I was hungry then, but ever since showing Mom and Dad the night programs I am interested in, I've had this awful stomach-in-knots feeling in my stomach (obviously). It's not that I regret showing them what I did, because if I hadn't, I'd still be stressed out over that, but now that I have, it's like revealing that part of myself is bent on destroying me from the inside. Said moments of pain yesterday night were almost always preempted by thoughts like "I can't believe I told them that!", and "I hate myself now", out of sheer embarrassment, if anything. I suspect my change in interests isn't too big a deal from their point of view, considering I haven't seriously said anything to them about college before now since 2005 or so, but from mine, well, I'm not sure how to describe it yet. I don't so much mind talking about those things in here anymore, and could probably tell Manoah (or George, if we still worked together) as long as they knew I was being serious, and realized that isn't something I would normally talk about, but with anybody else, it feels completely wrong and horrid. Then again, I still am getting used to the fact that Mom wanted me to show her what courses I'm interested in just out of interest herself - not so she could approve or disapprove. I'm still thinking of this being the same as when I went to St. Clair for a year of computer programming before. They were actually invested into that then, so they had good reason to keep on top of me, but now, with these new interests, I'll be in complete control, and thus fully responsible for them, with possible exception for getting a ride to St. Clair, should I opt for one of the in-class courses, and am accepted. Otherwise, I should ask Melissa if I'm allowed to change my days off to Monday and Thursday instead, and next time I see Penny at Heart and Stroke and she asks when I'm going back to finish computer programming, I'll actually have an answer for her.

d] I Need to Learn to Read
On the way out to Future Shop, Mom gave me another idea for something for her for Christmas. It was an appliance, and I set about looking up prices for them on Canadian Tire's site as soon as I got back, eventually settling on one that had high reviews and was priced modestly, for a dual-purpose machine. As such, I asked Dad if we could go out there after supper, so we did, and it wasn't until I spent half an hour (at least) walking around the same section of the store that I realized the item I had been looking at online was in fact an attachment, and that if I wanted to buy the base machine, it would cost $500 after tax. Needless to say, I walked out without purchasing anything, and will continue to look at prices online, but that was kind of a disappointment. What deserves special mention of this though was how one of the employees reacted to me. After looking around for a bit and not being able to find any items corresponding with the item number I'd copied from the website, I walked back over to where one of the employees was talking to two other people about Halloween decorations, and waited patiently. She eventually turned around enough to see me, but instead of saying "Hi there, I'll be with you in just a minute, okay?" (or such), she remained facing the other customers, and just waved her hand at me, as if to say "Go away". At first I thought that might be some sort of acknowledgment, but she was still standing there talking to the same people when I went back to the car.

Those things aside, I'm not sure what else there is to say. I did just look down at some cords sticking out from behind one of my bookshelves though, which is fairly amusing. I know I had a dream last night, part of which involved the urgent need to push those cords back behind the shelf, which I tried to do once but didn't have any luck, and now that I look at them as I write this, it looks like I got out of bed a second time, and tried to pull them all the way out. I clearly don't know what happened after I went to sleep tonight, but maybe it's better that I try to be in bed by 6:00 this morning. Along the same lines though, a couple nights ago I went to sleep with neither my ceiling fan nor box fan turned on, so my room was completely quiet, except for the barely audible fan in my laptop, and various sounds coming from outside. That somehow got incorporated into a dream, leading to my playing music on my laptop while I was still mostly asleep (I had the presence of mind to pick an album of quiet piano music, and to turn the volume down, at least), which made me feel safer for all of a couple seconds, before hearing the music woke me up enough to realize what I had done, and to know that I find it quite difficult to sleep with music playing these days. I used to swear by it (so to speak), but at present, natural white noise, such as wind outside or a fan in my room is all that will work. Even listening to files of such noises on my laptop doesn't have the same effect, which is curious.

I do need to go get ready for work now though, and it probably won't be all that great a night to be frank. Hopefully less busy than last weekend, now that it's not a holiday, but let's just say if I were going to Heart and Stroke instead of work, I'd probably take today off. Maybe it'll help to remember that I'll be able to look at the new schedule tonight, and will also be walking home with Orlando, so we'll be able to talk about various things that have happened since last time we worked. I am absolutely not going out for snacks tonight, but I need something fun to do afterward, and I can't really count on having as good a sleep as last night again to fill in for that. Actually, maybe I will just play Super Mario Galaxy for an hour or so. That way I would still be in bed by 5:30, and that would hopefully be enough time to finish the things I have left to do as Mario. That does sound good~

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