Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

I Don't Want to Leave

Technically I don't leave for another day and a half yet, yes, but this trip has turned out to be just what I needed again. I've forgotten all about life back at home - what work is like, and that Trish and Ericka are probably back already, and that Christmas is coming up in only a couple days, to give some examples. Thinking about work is kind of interesting, because seeing it for what it really is, instead of what it feels like while there is completely different (at work, the job may be annoying and / or second-hand, whereas looking on it now shows me that those things are my job, and therefore what I'm being paid to do, and properly), and it might feel more like Christmas if there was even a little bit of snow on the ground, but as far as I'm concerned, it's still mid-November. Christmas is coming up on Sunday one way or the other, but it feels too early. That being said though, I am comfortable here. This may not be my home proper, but for the past week, it has served as such. Did I think I was still seen as a guest here, I likely would've had more qualms about taking Dan's keys and heading out with only a brief explanation that I wanted to go to Dollarama, and a couple other places on the way back, but I don't feel that way. Dan told me the other night that he likes having me visit, which I believe I mentioned in here, Xion said not to be a stranger, and we've definitely been interacting more this time than ever before, and Bungee, well, he hasn't been here all that much, so I can't really say. What is worth noting though is that while he was here over the weekend, he still seemed friendly enough. Not like before, obviously, and he still does these little "Mrff!" things at all of us that I assume he expects a response to, but only gets a blank stare from me, but that's quite fine. I suppose what I'm trying to say in the end is that I like being here, but perhaps it's well enough that I head back home on Friday, because I've pretty much gone through the money I had saved up (the cash), and all good things must come to and end, lest they become commonplace and less-enjoyable as such.

Where today is concerned, things went well. Xion came to the zoo with us, and it was nice to have him along, but a couple hours after we got there, we went into the pavilion where the otters' indoor area is, and upon getting to that area noticed the sudden shower of rain falling outside. After some discussion, we decided to call it a day there, because nobody felt much like walking around while all wet, and headed back toward the entrance. The rain let up after a little bit, and the break was appreciated, but then it came back all of a sudden again, so by the time the bus actually came, we were fairly wet, which made it all the nicer to have a hot shower back at home. I got two of the gifts I wanted to get there, but didn't have enough time to look for the other one, however, I'm pretty sure Dan and I are going back tomorrow (Xion wants to wait for Chris because the two of them have preparations to make for Xion meeting Chris's mother / family on Friday), so I'll make it a point to have another look then. The worst that could happen is I'm not able to find what I want, which would be just the same as today. After having a shower though, I sat down to finish Kirby's Adventure for the very last time (prior to Sunday afternoon, I did not know there was something more to be earned by beating the game in Extra mode), then went out to Shoppers, Cloverdale Mall, Taco Bell, and Tim Hortons, which was a nice walk, then watched a couple episodes of a show that Xion thought I would be interested in (Kitchen Nightmares) with him and Dan, and the night was capped off with playing another game of Scrabble with Dan, which he won by two points, and only because I couldn't use my last [V]. Now, I'm just laying here slowly becoming tired, thinking a bit about what we could do tomorrow (if Xion and Chris have some time to spare once Dan and I get home from the zoo, it would be nice to go out for supper with them, since we won't see them on Friday), and writing this, obviously.

I suppose one interesting story that I could share involves Xion, Chris, and I. Ever since the first time I met the two of them together, and it was explained that they were mates, Chris has apparently had this idea that Xion has a crush on me. At first, I took it seriously, because it seemed like that assumption was causing problems for both of them, and so it made me worried at supper back on Tuesday (the night I got here) to hear Xion say "It's when he says things like this that worries me", and looking over to see a message on his phone reading (roughly) "Glad to hear you're enjoying your date". Surprisingly, that didn't come up while Chris was here, but then it did this morning while we were walking to the subway, in the form of Chris once again telling him "Have fun on your date". It's getting to the point where I think he's just kidding. He's seen with his own eyes that there's nothing going on between Xion and I, so it seems reasonably likely to assume that he's just doing it for a laugh. Xion doesn't seem to care either, so long as it's not causing them problems. As for the rest of the time, if I had to pick one best moment, I don't think I could. It would be a toss-up between the party on Saturday, before I got roped into playing Settlers of Catan and built a single road over the course of the entire game, and Sunday afternoon (I believe), when Xion really put himself out there to say that the reason we "clicked" as soon as we did is because we've been through the same things regarding friends and such (which may be an erroneous statement, because the only thing I've told him about my history with friends is that I didn't want to install Skype to talk to him while I was still at home, because the last time I used it was to talk to a friend with whom things had turned sour, and I still didn't want to use it), and that he wants me to not squander my talents - consider getting a job in food someplace other than where I work right now, because he's seen the smile that baking / giving treats to people gives me, but even then, I don't know if that's really so much of an interest for me anymore. Also, since it's fair to not mention Dan, I could also include in the list of choices the night where he paid for all my groceries, and then, when we were going to bed, I said thanks, and told him that I would find some way to repay that, only for him to respond by saying "Well, I like having you visit". It hasn't been brought up yet, but I could see possibly coming back here for his birthday again, if I'm able to get the time off from work, and he doesn't make other plans. It would still be nice to have him visit me as well, but that's highly impractical until / unless I'm able to establish some sort of independence for myself, and even then, there isn't nearly as much to do in Chatham as there is here, especially with the Wild Zone having been torn down. It's not that I mind only coming here, but that doesn't stop it from being nice to think of him making the trip instead. For now though, I should focus on returning to my life back in Chatham, and the night course which I will be attending starting in less than a month, among other things.

To end this for tonight, I have another story to tell about something that happened on the last night I worked before coming here, involving Gabby and I, which I just remembered tonight. At one point during the night, she commented to me that the chicken looked, well, unpleasant. Just old and dry and shredded, like it had been there for a while. The exact words she used to describe it were "cat food", and immediately went on to ask me if I wanted some, just as a joke, because it was old and needed to be thrown out anyway. I stared at her for just a moment, then said "Oh, ha ha, that's quite funny", and she turned to me, puzzled, and when it came to her, she got an aghast look on her face, apologized, and said that's not what she meant. I don't think she meant it that way either, and immediately after that, I wish I had said "I can't tell if that's supposed to be a joke or not" instead, but yeah. It was amusing, and I'm trying to not get bothered by things like that now. Somebody makes a joke at my expense, or assumes the wrong animal? It doesn't really matter if you look at it from a dispassionate point of view, and I'd like that to be the default way I look at things, because it seems like a much better way to be. It would be best to be asleep right now though, and that should be fairly easy to achieve as I'm already laying in bed, but first, I would like a drink of water. One last trip out to the kitchen for tonight~

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