Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

I Somehow Doubt It

According to the slip I found in the mailbox just now, the Shoppers over on Queen street is holding a package for me, which I can pick up tomorrow between 8am and 7pm, even though it's a Saturday, and that Saturday happens to be New Year's Eve. I suppose if I am able to, then that's better than having to wait until partway through next week, but I've never been given the option to pick up a package on the weekend before, so I won't know until I get there. They had better have something for me to collect though, because the package itself is from the same company which I've ordered from two other times before, but both times had to request a reshipment for, because something happened to prevent the first attempts from being delivered to me. Also interesting is that the package is indeed the one that I ordered at this time last year. In other words, it's taken an entire year for the people responsible to get their act together and make good on their end of the transaction. Will it be worth the wait? Hopefully, but I'm really trying not to think that far ahead, because I have several shifts to work before that. Tonight, Orlando and I are closing with Mary, which I think might go better than in the past, because she's seemed more friendly recently, then tomorrow, Orlando and I are once again closing, but with Laura instead, and at 8pm, since it's New Year's Eve, then I have New Year's Day off, and am back on to start an hour earlier than normal and close with Laura on Monday, followed by three days off. All I'm trying to focus on for now is being positive about how Melissa will respond to the note I left her on Tuesday, asking for more time off in February. I hope she will approve, but still, it feels like I have absolutely no tact when I just get back from one trip and immediately ask about arrangements being made for me to go away for another. That, however, leads into a somewhat sensitive issue that I was writing about last night, but couldn't finish because of how uncomfortable I felt.

For the sake of argument, let's assume Melissa grants me those four days off in February, and I'm able to get a train ticket. When I was there last week, Dan, Xion, and I went out for supper on Tuesday, before we went our separate ways. At supper, Xion explained something about the fursuit that he is currently having made, and asked Dan and I for our opinions on the matter as well. I can't remember Dan's answer, but mine was affirmative, and for a time, it felt good to have told the truth, even though they may not have expected it from me, but now, I'm thinking about the ramifications, not of my answer but of him getting a fursuit in general. I hate to put it this way, but ever since what happened with Dyno and DJ, I've had quite an aversion to them being used in a personal context. Somebody at the party last Saturday had the head and paws for theirs, which didn't bother me because I didn't know the person, but I don't know how I would respond, should events from a couple years ago repeat themselves. Specifically, if I'm expected to make believe that the suit has its own character, and I'm supposed to interact differently with it than I would with the person inside as such. I couldn't handle that, but the weird thing is that I really can't explain why. Some part of my mind just refuses to allow it, insubstantial as that may sound. I can see nothing wrong with the idea of having a private moment with Xion to explain that to him before February though, and I'd rather the full truth be known, even if it comes at the cost of feeling uncomfortable for a day or two.

Moving on, I haven't written anything in here in two days, so surely there must be other things that I can write about too, right? One thing I forgot to mention before now is how going to Uncle Mark and Aunt Marie's house on Christmas Eve went. Last year, I think I just sat on the couch and played PoPoLoCrois, while they went about making preparations for everybody else to come over, and I was fine with that, because I didn't want to be expected to have an awkward conversation with them, but this year, we did just that, and I'd say it was more not-awkward than anything else. I can't remember what we talked about, but Aunt Marie sat down at first, then Uncle Mark came out a short while later, presumably after seeing that we were still talking, and we did talk for a good hour, because everybody else didn't arrive until 7:30. Then, at the end of the night, they thanked me for the cheesecake pies I brought, and Uncle Mark flat-out jokingly corrected Aunt Marie by saying "cheese pies", because we had been discussing what they would properly be called when I first got there. It's just significant to me to notice that I can have more than a casual conversation with people if I just try, and in fact like the interaction, but at the same time, the entire time we were talking, my mind was racing trying to think of other things to say, and more or less forcefully pushing me to break the silence every time we all stopped talking at once. Also, instead of running off to play games in the back room after getting a plate of snacks, Naomi, Adam, and I stayed at the table. Interesting how things change.

That said, I started cleaning my room last night (cleaning up the big mess I made a couple days ago, that is), and have it about halfway complete, so I'd like to see about finishing the rest before I go to work today. I know most of what I want to do with it, and still need to get another collapsible storage bin to use for recyclables, but all of those figurines I have are kind of in the way, because I don't need to have all of them out, and I want to find some other way to prop my fan up in front of my bed. Right now, I have it placed on a box, but inside of that box are things of which I no longer need most, and I can't allow myself to clean up just by hiding all of the things that I don't want to have out. Time to get busy~

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