Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

Something Needs to be Said

This entry is just a placeholder for now. I'm back at home, in Chatham (which should be obvious), but I have too many other things to focus on for the moment. That I can think of right now, we have:

a] Finish typing up my notes for my night course by or before 5pm on Monday
b] Begin research for assignment #2 (essentially, focus on two psychological disorders, and compare them to somebody who is more well-adjusted)
c] Upload pictures and videos from special events over the past week
d] Give a point-form, day-by-day list of things done (as an entry in here) over the past week
e] Finish unpacking
f] Try to work past (or through) feeling awkward and bad and guilty about my previous entry

In regards to the latter specifically, I feel really bad about it because of what happened on Tuesday. Dan decided to write a LiveJournal entry of his own that day about a dream he had, and then checked his friends page, and saw mine where I was complaining about how I felt, and about all of the things that were getting on my nerves. Looking back now, I stand by that it started with spending so much time in the kitchen, but regardless of the cause, he read what I had written, and didn't become so much angry, as apologetic. He thanked me for making all of the treats I made for the furmeet, apologized for not being more observant of the door to his room being closed when he walked in, said that he wasn't trying to draw me out of what I'm comfortable with by inviting me to the meet, and even apologized for calling me a fur. Yeah. It's quite something how quickly all of that spite and anger can be reversed and come flying back. As noted, that happened on Tuesday morning, and it wasn't until two days later, just this afternoon when I was packing my things up to head out, that I finally summoned the courage to address it. I tried to tell him that I had enjoyed being there again, and had enjoyed the meet (I still feel that prolonged exposure to that sort of activity would exhaust me, no matter what the theme (furry fandom or otherwise), but that's not what I was getting at in my previous entry (I actually didn't like the fact that Pero(myscus) was over to stay the night on Friday, to be there for the meet on Saturday, which had essentially shoved me into the background with apparently no acknowledgement of my work)), and then he said in kind of a short tone that if I was going to be miserable, I didn't have to visit, which had me utterly crushed, until I tried honestly thanking him for having me up to visit again without all the fuss about apologizing and such, and his response of "Oh, you're welcome" followed by a smile, and telling me when he was thinking of organizing another event, made it seem like he didn't mean his previous statement the way I thought. What's more, as we were leaving the apartment, Xion said something that I can't remember now, but went on to add "And what I mean by that, Karadur, is don't be a stranger, because you will be missed", and then Chris came right out and asked when I would next be able to come up, which my only disappointment with is that I wasn't able to give him a definite answer. Even though the four of us didn't do anything extremely special as a group this time, I still really like just hanging out with them. Dan and I had, and perhaps still have this thing going with alliteration (it started with the baby bear at the zoo...), and there was a rather amusing moment earlier this afternoon where Xion said "Oh, that's neat" about something in the game he was playing, but right at the same time as an advertisement for bras was playing on the TV, so it was implied that he actually wanted a bra, and everybody but him got a giggle out of it. He pouted, for what it's worth, but that's part of what makes it amusing. As for going back again, current options are May and August. I haven't started yet, because I only just got home, but I'll be pushing for May, so hopefully that comes together soon once again.

Otherwise, I have notes to continue typing now, and most certainly other things to do too. I'd like to get through both chapters from the 13th by the end of the night, and oh, that sounds reasonable, considering the only reason I didn't get more done on the train is because I was distracted. Let's find out if I can avoid getting sidetracked now~

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