Back to AS though, I found this article the other afternoon, which is pretty interesting. It definitely spoiled the flow of my report in that prior to finding it, I had been writing about empathy in people with AS from the singular viewpoint that they have either a low capacity for it, or none at all. Fortunately, I think I was able to work it in well enough, but since then, I've honestly been thinking that that kind of sounds like I've been in the past. Those things concerning stories? Maybe that was all a matter of insecurity, as I was certain of before, but to propose that I may have also virtually shut down in the face of them because of the emotions they conveyed has a certain logic to it as well, not to mention that this too could be seen as a reason that I prefer to not have a large group of friends. With issues regarding insecurity with friends in the past, another factor to those could be that when something negative came up, not only was I upset with myself, but also assumed they were upset with me, however, until this point, I considered that relatively normal, with the possibility of it being a deficiency in realizing that not everybody feels the same way I do. Thinking back to when I was in Toronto in February, Chris and Xion had a disagreement over something one night, but instead of going back into their room to discuss it, stayed out in the living room where Dan and I also were, to continue watching TV. Xion kept asking what was wrong though, and Chris continued to refuse to tell him, eventually leading to me feeling quite awkward, sitting there playing a game on the Nintendo as if nothing was wrong, but up until this point, that too is something that I've always thought was normal. I wanted to ask Chris what was wrong myself, and I wanted to advise Xion to just leave it be for a bit, because his continuing questioning didn't seem to be doing anything, but I didn't want to interfere either. Or another time before, where he was frustrated with things to the point that he came right out and told both Dan and I things that he may not have otherwise. I could understand what he was saying, and to a degree could feel what he was feeling (not specifically, of course), but didn't know what to say, so I more or less just stood there, trying to show him that although I may not be offering any advice, I did care. All in all, I'm not saying that that article is something that describes me perfectly, but it does fit with the suspicion, and offers something interesting to think about. It also introduces another possibility for why that person I wanted to talk to before about what was on my mind refused, but I can't speak for them, so that's just a thought.
In the meantime, I am frustrated with Dan (and if you're reading this, please do read on), because since Thursday evening, I've asked him twice if he had a response to my messages about him saying that he could come to visit me, but didn't know where he would stay. Yesterday after work, I came home to find about ten different messages from Instantbird saying that he (Dan) had either become idle, or no longer was, but did I receive any actual response? No. Maybe I should ask again, because there's still a chance he just didn't see what I had said / asked him, but if all else fails, I suppose we can discuss the possibility of that happening in May. Also last night though, it was windy. Far more windy than normal, which made for a beautiful walk to work, and then a surprisingly decent night there, although I don't think that was related to the weather. We did run out of chili right at the end of the night, because I accidentally put sour cream on an item with chili that wasn't supposed to have it, but Mary didn't seem to care, and was once again rather indifferent to everything going on. I don't want to jump to conclusions just yet and say that her becoming the AGM is slowly going to make her into Sheila, but that seems to be the case so far. Last year at this time, I wouldn't have been trusted to work for an entire shift more or less on my own, but that's exactly what happened, and I can't think of one bad thing she said to me, or Tom, for that matter. She did scold Tom right at the end of the night, saying that we weren't closed until the last customer had pulled out onto St. Clair, but really, that's his fault for being oblivious to the fact that she was looking out the window herself, and saw exactly where the customer was when he said that they were gone. I'm not sure what closing tonight will bring, because we have a new guy, Dan, who's only been on one other close so far. He seems like a good worker, yes, but is kind of like Tom, just scaled back a bit. On Wednesday night, I was in the dining room playing a game on my PSP, and he walked in to start his shift, and stood in the hallway leading back to the bathrooms, looking through the window at what I was playing. When I noticed, I turned back to stare at him myself, and he looked at my PSP, shrugged, and went into the back, then didn't say a word about it for the rest of the night. Weird, and kindly leave me alone. If you want to know something about what I'm playing, then ask, but don't stare, because it's impolite. Getting back to the wind though, as that's where I was going with this originally, right at the end of the night, when we went outside after Mary had set the alarm, she looked at me with this "If you say no, you're crazy" look on her face, and asked if I wanted a ride home "tonight", because it was "bitter cold". Cold? Right. Take away the wind, and it's mild. Add the wind, and it's cool, but still positively beautiful. I did walk home, and enjoyed every moment. I was even tempted to stand on the bridge for a bit, because it hasn't been that windy in quite a while, that I can remember, but in the end, I just came straight home, and that was that. Nowhere near being bitter cold though. That would be quite an experience.
Anyway, three large paragraphs and a small one will have to suffice for today, because in these remaining two hours, I want to at least finish the end of my report. Not to mention OmmWriter has become rather slow. Half of any word I type appears immediately, and the other half doesn't appear until a second later. Probably best to copy and paste this into the update page before the program crashes~