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Dreams Are a Help

Should I choose to believe them, I will know already that my overall score for the exam we had last week is somewhere between 50 and 70%, and that nobody in the class did particularly well. I imagine that's not far off from what will actually happen (at least to me) too, but quite frankly, it's my own fault for not properly studying. Not to try and justify it, but while my performance in regards to assignments has improved from elementary and high school, my studying habits clearly have not. Also, in regards to the assignment due this week, it wasn't until I was organizing my list of references yesterday that I noticed I have significantly more related to Asperger Syndrome than Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, and the ones with generalized titles don't touch on either disorder specifically, so much as cover other research that I wanted to include. Also again, only after I printed the whole thing out did I notice that the headings were left-aligned, contrary to how the teacher requested them last week, but I'm not going to print the whole report out again just to correct that. I will point it out and say the same thing I have in here though, which reminds me of something vaguely similar that happened at work on Saturday night.

Because it wasn't terribly busy, I started preparing food to be carried over at ~1:30am. The idea was that it would be put in the water in hot line, to be kept at the proper temperature in case we needed it, but also so it would be ready to go at the end of the night if we didn't. That was all fine for the first couple bags, but then a customer came in while I was working on the third, and in trying to put that bag in the water so I could start making the order, I knocked the (electronic) scale in as well. Mary was down in drive through taking an order at the time, so while I did pull it out, I couldn't immediately tell her, but when she came down, I let her know exactly what had happened, instead of trying to hide it, and she half shrugged, half smirked, and eventually said that she didn't know how she was going to let Melissa know about that. The thing is, Melissa didn't, and still doesn't work until Tuesday, but even so, I left a note for Manoah, as he opened in the morning, telling him what had happened. Then, when I went in for my shift yesterday night, I asked about it right away, and once again, the most upset-sounding thing said to me was Ang joking around, asking if I was the one who broke it. Yes, yes, I am, and if and when Melissa asks, I will gladly tell her the same thing, because it's far easier than trying to conceal it. Now, that's all well and good, but it begs the question of why I can't feel the same way about my exam. I am practically beside myself with worry that I'll get a bad grade, and that I'll be specifically singled out for such. Maybe this could be seen as my unintentional arrogance from getting 81% on our first quiz coming back at me. I seemingly do well on that one, and other people don't, then for the midterm we had last week, I think I did poorly, and that other people did well.

On a slightly related note though (to both topics), something else about work last night. For one, Chelsea, now that she is back, is difficult to work with. She reminds me of Elischa, back when I first started there, seemingly refusing to leave me alone. Most everybody else - even Melissa - seem to understand that I prefer to be left to myself, but she (Chelsea) doesn't, and I couldn't think of a good way to say "Please leave me alone" last night. At any rate, it's not really a big issue or anything. Just something I noticed yesterday, which will probably come back again tonight, if and when I stop in there on the way home from St. Clair. What I am interested in is how, when I flipped the wrapper over because she had put an item on the grill backward, and to leave the wrapper right-side up would have seem the item go in there upside-down, she said "OCD!" as if to imply that that's what I was or something. The problem with that is, what does the "D" stand for? "Disorder", yes? Given that, how can I be "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder"? It doesn't make sense, and even then, I consider flipping the wrapper over as more a matter of trying to adhere to certain standards that we're supposed to follow anyway. She also thought I was judging her, when I watched her wrap and bag an entire order without turning away, and I kind of was, in a way, but worry less about me, and more about what you're doing. Then there was Tom coming through for food, which might come up tonight, once again, if I stop there on the way home, but I'll see about that if and when. For now, I have last-minute cleaning things to do, and by the time those are finished, it should be 5:00~