Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

Running Out of Games

Yesterday night I played through the entirety of MC Kids out of boredom, but that isn't really a feat, because the game is relatively short. Tonight, however, boredom struck again, and I chose to play through Star Tropics instead. From beginning to end in more or less one sitting (without doing something else in between), in no more than ~3 hours, which is rather surprising. Unfortunately, I now have nothing interesting to do again to the point that I'm considering going to bed early, as the night overall did not turn out how I expected it to.

First of all there was the difficulty with getting a ride to St. Clair. Mom and Dad were gone at H&R Block at first, and I was actually downstairs more or less ready to go, just waiting until 5:30 on the chance that they would get home before then, and thankfully, they did. I still could've walked, yes, but the heat outside would've been quite... detrimental to making it there in an acceptable state. We stopped at Dollarama first, where I bought only a bottle of water, and then it was off to St. Clair, where I had the classroom to myself once again. It's nice getting there with time to settle in and relax a bit first, but I would end up having more than I needed tonight. The first ten minutes (or so) went by uneventfully, and I didn't expect anybody else to come in just yet either, but as time continued to pass, and I remained the only one in the classroom, I started to feel worried that class was canceled, because we were originally supposed to have last week off, but didn't, as it would work out best for the majority to get together on the 12th. So I waited, telling myself that I'd stick around until 6:30, and if nobody else had showed up by then, would leave, but at 6:00, I shut my laptop down again, packed everything back up, and left, because it seemed clear that waiting longer wasn't going to help. Following that, the walk home was warm, and longer than normal, because of the heat, but I made it back to the house around 6:30, and promptly went upstairs to have a shower. Once that was over with, I ate supper, sent our teacher an email asking for confirmation that class this week was canceled, and more or less just sat around after that. When she eventually replied, she said that we'd decided a couple weeks ago to have class on the 12th instead of 19th, told me "Sorry you showed up" which doesn't really make sense, and I think that brings us up to right now. I also played Tales of the Abyss earlier and made a little more progress, but nothing particularly appreciable, and then looked for PSP GBA emulators, because last time I looked into those, they were still quite slow. Otherwise, that is essentially it. I've eaten more cookies than I should've, and cleaned my room up a bit more earlier, but it's been largely a nondescript night. Had it looked like the weather would remain as it's been for the past couple weeks for the foreseeable future, I would've put the extra time to good use by rearranging my room tonight, but that change hasn't been made yet. Maybe not even on Thursday, because surely not coincidentally, it's supposed to start cooling down again just then.

That said, one of the things I wrote about earlier is still on my mind, which means that it must be interesting to me in some way, so I will write about it next. The topic is that dream I mentioned, specifically, and I think the reason it still stands out is because it's unique, in the sense that I don't recall ever having a dream quite like it before.

The first part of the dream involved me, a girl with whom I was apparently in a deeply meaningful relationship with (I wish I didn't have to say that words fail me, but she felt like the sort of person who meant more to me than the rest of the word - universe, even - combined), and a friend whose gender I can't recall. Either I kissed the girl or she kissed me, but as mentioned in my previous entry, I actually felt it, and then she asked me a question like "Do you love me?", but not in those exact words. It was a prompt to express that I cared deeply for her as well one way or the other though. For some reason (I think I was trying to be sarcastic instead of serious, even though I could feel that my answer would mean a lot to her), I answered "Not at all", and she got this intensely sad, dejected look on her face, which I knew meant that my answer had hurt her, but more than that, that she felt defeated by my inability to take her question seriously - as if I could never care about her as much as she cared about me, which meant an order of magnitude more than just knowing whether I cared or not. Upon seeing that, the friend who was with us tried to console her, while still remaining upbeat, by explaining that I was just joking around, which unfortunately didn't help. Then, almost out of nowhere, I walked off a short distance away from them, to remove myself from that atmosphere, and suddenly there was this random guy standing in my way who was taller than me, who quite literally grabbed my face and thrust his tongue into my mouth. That's the part I found really weird, because not only felt, but also tasted it. The feeling was simply of a damp, semi-firm foreign object being shoved into my mouth, and the taste was... distinct, suffice it to say. Imagine the smell of a certain public area (commonly found at the beach), without the overt pervasiveness, and with slightly more acrid tones. Sensations aside, that caught me by surprise, but I quickly collected myself, and pushed him away admonishing him that I was already in a relationship with somebody, and she was very close by. The dream ended there, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), but that still leaves the question of why it's been on my mind throughout the rest of the day.

Right off, for the record, I am not now nor have I been in any such relationship in the past year (and before that as well, but there needs to be some limit), so it's strange that I would dream of something that I have neither had experience with, nor thought about to any extent. The thing is that I can remember being in the same position as the girl. I can remember feeling that way in regards to certain friends - thinking that because they didn't constantly prove, or even mention that they saw me as a friend, that they must not, which leads to certain interesting thoughts about how the girl in my dream could've been created from my own experiences, sort of making it like I was interacting with myself, which allowed me to see how my attitude came across toward other people. I do strongly prefer the way I interact with friends these days than the way I used to, but could those past events have been dredged up and placed into a dream setting? Maybe. As for the guy, I have no explanation, and no theory as to where he came from, or what purpose he was supposed to serve, and furthermore, how it came to be that I felt both him and the girl kiss me. I notice physical sensations prompted by various stimuli in dreams on a regular basis - a sound from outside may be incorporated into my dream, or I may try to run away from something in a dream, but not be able to because I'm laying down in bed, and thus can't move my legs, but that doesn't account for what I would have to do to feel as if I was being kissed, not to mention the taste. Sometimes that leads to interesting, and I dare say even enjoyable dreams, but sometimes they're weird as well, and I think I've established a new level of that in this case. I wonder what tonight will hold...

Now that took much too long. Nearly an hour trying to think of the word I had previously come up with, instead of "distinct". I'm pretty sure it started with the letter A, but that doesn't help me very much now. I obviously needn't worry about going to bed too early any longer. but I still have to think of a title to use for this. Until then, I will get ready for bed in hopes that at least one package does come in the mail for me, and also that it rains, even just slightly, since that apparently decided not to come today. It is officially Spring now though, so it's within reason to say that more should be coming. If only the conditions were right for it to start storming right now...

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