Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

I'm Getting Tired of This

I try to have a conversation with Dan, and in the middle of it, he randomly says "I'm going to have a nap" or somesuch. At that point, I'm invested in the conversation and want to see it through to the end, but he apparently gets up and walks away from his computer immediately after sending the message, and I'm left with several to a lot of things to say, but no way by which to communicate them. Such as right now, where I was trying to discuss an issue not previously mentioned in here with him, and I asked if there was anything else he still didn't understand. He said "Just what makes you not want to see it", and I thought for a moment, trying to come up with an answer, before remembering that it was right there in the email I sent him last night. Of course, he'd already taken off to have a nap, so now I have to sit here, feeling frustrated and a little angry because the possibility of achieving mutual understanding is still pending, hoping he'll come back before I have to leave for work tonight, as I'd really like to see this conversation through to the end. The other things I could say in here seem to matter much less so long as that is unresolved, but I'm also getting kind of frantic without focusing on anything else, so let's try to find some other matter to write about.

The first one could be that I forgot something yesterday. In alongside being taken advantage of with regards to cooking food, something happened on Wednesday night that, while relatively insignificant, still took me aback. During one of the first couple days I was there, Xion went on a tirade about how although Lela was his pet, and thus he should be expected to take care of her, it wouldn't hurt for Dan or Bungee to step in and contribute when he wasn't feeling well, as was the case then. He also made it clear that as I was a guest, he wouldn't have the same expectations of me, but... On Wednesday night, about twenty minutes after I came home from Real Canadian Superstore, I noticed that her bottle of water was empty, and let him know. His response? "Fill it for me, would you?" Why? Because you're on the couch trying to set up something you bought for Chris with him, and don't want to get up yourself? I did, not having a response prepared then, but I don't know what to do about his presumptuousness. The thing that really makes all of this a mess though, which I remembered on the way home from work last night, is that he gave me an external speaker he bought to use with his laptop, but which didn't suit his needs or something. For the record, he gave it to me because he felt it was superior to the pair I already had, and I accepted it, because I didn't want to effectively say "No, you can take your generosity and get away from me". So, those two things might balance each other out, but there are a couple more which I remembered as well. The first is that we ordered pizza twice while I was there. He paid the first time, but the second, asked if I would pay him back for what I ordered. Only $7, and fair's fair, but where does that leave the cost of the food I bought with my own money that I shared with him? Secondly, if he has money to treat Chris to whatever, why couldn't he pay for his own loaded curly fries when we went to Arbys for supper? It's too late to expect recompense now, but looking back, it's amazing what happened.

Another thing that's been on and off my mind is chatting with Peromyscus before and after the furmeet again, which is remarkable this time because of some of the things he said. For one, he declared that I could "stand to gain 10 pounds", and from there, would benefit by doing 20 push-ups a day or something. Why? Why do you feel that such advice is welcome? I wasn't content with my weight then, because eating too many of my snacks from London in the couple days before going to Toronto had begun to have the expected effect, but even if I was, I wouldn't go around asking people "What do you think I could do to improve my physical appearance?" I want my stomach to be flat, as it was before. That is all. The second thing came up while I was trying to organize things after the furmeet had ended, and most everything had been brought upstairs. I was just about to head to bed when he asked when I was going to get a (fursuit) head, and gave some more advice to the effect of that I should go on "the channel" (the IRC channel for Dan's website, I assume) and say hi once in a while. Again, why? I may have wanted a fursuit before, but that is no longer true, and I don't have an IRC client, let alone an account on Dan's site, so why would I create either just to pop in and say hi? Apparently I think like everybody else. That's really all I can think of to say.

Anyway, I was working on organizing my desktop before I started talking to Dan, and as he appears to still be idle, I'm going to pick up where I left off. That is, if Avernum 6 doesn't become more appealing first...

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