Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

Some Sort of Communication Block

For the first time in quite a while, I had a completely normal, if short conversation with Xion yesterday (I didn't have anything to talk about prior to that), but him aside, it feels like there's something inhibiting my ability to interact with people as I normally would lately. Perhaps it starts with events on Tuesday night - unusual, sudden generosity toward Adam and Trish - but it's quite frustrating nonetheless, because at this exact moment, I need to get back to not one, but three people, but can't find anything other than raw disinterest and bluntness to respond with. In no particular order, those three instances are as follows:

a] I found this post from Dan on my friends page yesterday. It's highly unusual (to my mind) for somebody to mention me online, if not in other contexts as well, let alone specifically state that they've done something to help me out, so I know I should say thank you to him, but can't find any way to approach it that wouldn't just come across (again, to me) as being done only to address that need. I want to say "Oh, that works then, but don't mind if I do still bring my measuring spoons, as they're small and easy to pack. Thanks~", but as I noted just before that, if I did post such a comment right now, I'd know it was done only to address knowing that I should / need to. I could also just as easily send him a message in MSN right now to say that I saw the entry, but would still post a comment eventually, which would be somewhat redundant. It's fun, the way that works.

b] At ~1pm yesterday, Qemba sent me what will hopefully be the fixed, completed version of one of my commissions from her. Waited nearly two weeks when she said she'd make the changes "ASAP", but I didn't mind too much, because I had even less interest in pestering her about whether or not she'd been able to make them yet. It's going on more than 24 hours since she sent me that email though, so I know I need to respond reasonably soon, but haven't even opened the message, let alone looked at the picture to see if the changes made were what I pictured when describing them. I feel like in this case, I could look, and could scrutinize, but wouldn't have interest enough to respond to her, and if that's true, where has my interest gone then? At this exact moment, I want to write this, but if I look ahead, I think when it's finished, I will want to go make some toast or something for breakfast, then go out to Dollarama (as usual for Thursdays now, buy a bunch of snacks from there) early, as well as to the bank to deposit this check that came two days ago, and also withdraw money for Mom and Dad. Only after those things are done do I foresee really wanting to take care of the things mentioned here, so they're done, and won't be on my mind for the rest of the night, but why can't I take care of them now? Maybe I just really want to go get things over with at the bank. I suppose I'll find out for sure later.

c] With this technically being the third day in a row that I haven't heard anything from those people with whom I was having slight problems related to packages, I know I should email them to ask what's going on now. It's probably what I theorized before - that with the incorrect item they sent me already being on its way back to them, they have no further need to contact me, but even if it is, I have every right and reason to still want / need to know if they're going to require anything from me, and if not, to ask for repeated confirmation of my order, to be sure they have it right. I can't do that right now though, because I feel as if I'd come across way to crass, whereas if I dealt with whatever else might be causing this block first, I could be more measured and understanding.

All in all, my goal will be to take care of those three things by / before the end of the night. It could also just be that matters regarding money are on my mind right now, because there is a lot of stuff of that nature still to be dealt with, but if all goes well, I'll have dealt with most of it by the end of the night, and can be less distracted as a result. That reminds me of needing to walk up to work later to get money from Manoah though. I don't really want to do that, because he's liable to not remember, but I won't see him for a good while if I don't go up there. I guess I'll worry about that then though. It provides an incentive to take care of the things I still have to do, if nothing else~

  • I Know What It Is

    I wish I could easily skim through all of my old entries here and try to pinpoint something. Specifically, I want to know when it was that I started…

  • Random Entry for November

    Prediction: I'll end up becoming too tired to stay awake before I've finished writing, and by the time tomorrow gets here and I'm sat with my laptop…

  • A Limited (But Lengthy) Update

    Been a long time since I wrote in here, and even longer since I recalled a weird dream, but I had a couple last night that still stand out, and I'd…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded