Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

I'd Like Another, Please

It's fitting that these three days off have seemed to rush by even faster than any week previous. If only I could have one more day, I would be able to seemingly have solutions from Color Cross complete, and groceries for next week purchased, and maybe even everything backed up, safe and sound for another month, but all I have is tonight, and for the moment, I'm not doing much. I did wash what dishes were downstairs earlier, but that was before supper was made, so there will likely be more now, on top of that I want to go to Dollarama, Real Canadian Superstore, and Food Basics for the groceries I have selected as worthwhile to buy here, and then there are PSP memory stick backups to wait ~4 hours for, after all of which I would like to go to 7-11 for some snacks. I am definitely in a rut these days. Friday through Monday, eat something small before work, and maybe a more significant meal as well if I'm still hungry, then something else small after. On Tuesday, go out for pizza or related food (like breadsticks), followed by Wednesday, when I don't go out anywhere for anything, and Thursday, where I wait until 12~1am to go out to the 7-11 over on Grand Ave for whatever I want. One would hope the upcoming change in environment would help free me from that, but in the meantime, it's getting a bit tiresome to always be doing the same things. The same applies to work as well. With Laura being the only regular closing manager (for now, although a new manager was being trained on Monday night, and they could very well be put on closes), I can pretty much predict with 99% accuracy what I'll be on for all four nights that I work.

One distinct (and not work-related) problem I noticed last night though was certain thoughts pertaining to my current surroundings. Same as before, obviously, but I noticed one of the bigger reasons they've been bothering me so much recently is how I compare myself to other people - Josh, for example. Unfortunately, it came to the point last night where I laid down for a bit around midnight (because I was genuinely tired - not because I just didn't want to do anything else), and somewhere between that point and falling asleep for a few minutes, saw the whole matter as something to be avoided, same as I like to avoid other things that I think will negatively affect me. Is that the right way to go about it? Probably not, but I don't know what else to do just yet, and these thoughts are pervasive to the extent that if they do come up while I'm away next week, they'll probably ruin my mood for a good several hours, if not more. Aside from that though, I went out on the front porch for a bit last night to more directly experience the storm (mostly because it had become uncomfortably humid in the house), which was nice for that time, as was waking up for a few minutes while it was raining later on in the morning. Much loud thunder and rain falling, but it's all gone now. Well, almost. Conditions out there seem indicative that another storm is coming, for which I would really like to be here. And it had also better storm at least once in Toronto next week as well. There's nothing quite like seeing dark, ominous clouds roll in, and the excitement that comes from that. I think the rain today may have been the cause of an odd dream I had though. Adam was swimming around in a pool somewhere, bringing up random glass bottles. I offered to help, and he cautioned me that the water was extremely cold, which I told myself would be fine, but suddenly I was off in a completely different location, and had to make my way home again before I could help him. I don't recall ever making it back to the pool, but it was interesting nonetheless. The feeling of not knowing what mysteries were to be found at the bottom, because everybody else had stayed away due to the water's temperature... That seems to be a recurring theme in my dreams - mystery. I wonder why?

All of this disjointed nonsense aside though, I should go get to work on the rest of the dishes now, so I don't have to choose between those and going to get groceries later. At least there won't be as many as before~

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