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A Shower Would Be Nice...

As of 2:00am (give or take half an hour), Islington Furmeet 9 was done and over with. I'm not tired yet though, so I'm writing this, but all the same, it's been a long, warm day (I woke up at 10:30), and my lower body is quite covered with dry sweat. I still want to take care of this first though, because in spite of today's party being the furmeet that I was almost certain about not attending before, I honestly do think that I enjoyed myself. I was the first one down there (with the only key to the party room), the last one to leave (technically not though, because Dan forgot to retrieve the chain he had his money box locked to), and despite some specific, minor incidents, nothing bad happened. I'll start with the most significant one, because if I don't, I'm not going to be able to think clearly about anything else.

Less than an hour after the pizza arrived - enough time for me to eat two slices (I was first in line for that, too <3) - I came up here to get some cheese biscuits ready. Once in the oven, they needed 8~9 minutes to bake, and by that time, Dan had come up as well to print more name tags or something, and I made a random remark about having eaten one too many jelly beans or such. Then Bungee came in as well, for what purpose I can't quite remember, and sat down at the other end of the couch that I was sitting on. There was a brief pause, and then he said "...uh oh. All three of us are up here. That means there are no staff downstairs...". He took off to go back down to the party room immediately, and Dan got up shortly after to follow him, but as he was walking toward the door, turned to me and asked "You don't mind being staff, do you? Some people down there think you are...". I told him I didn't mind (looking back now, I would've preferred to say "That's fine with me"), because really, that is the role I would rather play. I've talked many times about how I don't want to come to these events just to attend - that I have to contribute in some way - and it is well and truly true. Maybe people drew that conclusion based on how I was the first one down there. Literally, I went down at about noon, Bungee came down fifteen minutes or so later, and Dan didn't come down until almost 1:00. I collected money from one person, gave them change (from my own wallet, which I was reimbursed for (a whole dollar yay)), answered a question they had about pizza after checking with Dan for the answer, but otherwise didn't actively focus on doing things specifically of that sort. I didn't go too terribly out of my way to talk to / interact with people, choosing to sit behind the counter for the most part, as before, but you know what? I had fun doing that. I'm not saying that I really really really want to come back for the next one, whenever it is, but if it were to go at all similarly to how this one did, I am fairly positive I would have fun. Thinking about it now, I actually still have a key to the parking garage in my wallet (I'll give it back tomorrow), not to mention that I was in posession of the party room keys for the entire day, and was also carrying Dan's keys around on one of my belt loops for a good several hours, as a result of needing to run up to the apartment for something or other. Hell, while we were on our way back up here after reorganizing things downstairs last night, he actually made the comment that it might be handy to have an extra copy of the key(s), with specific emphasis on them being for my use, at least in this case. I like that thought. Maybe it boils down to a matter of that I like being trusted. The same is certainly true of work - I may not show it, but I like being trusted to do my work properly without somebody watching over my shoulder. I'm getting off-topic though...

Specific good / memorable parts of the day? Obviously what I mentioned above, about being the first one in the party room (as well as the first one to open the door for people, and the person who put the signs up outside the party room this time), but moving past that, something concerning snacks comes to mind, but it's a fairly broad something. Last time, there was quite a bit of food left over - mostly cookies and candy. This time, however, the only thing left is some pop. Well, that and biscuit dough that I didn't use, because I was too tired, and didn't feel like going upstairs again. S'mores cookies were received about as well as last time - enjoyed, but they lasted until after the pizza was delivered, and the Oreo-stuffed chocolate chip cookies (or "chocolate chip surprise cookies", as people took to referring to them as) garnered some trepidation, but were otherwise eaten up as well. Cheese breadsticks were a fairly significant concern, so I'll get to why in a moment, but as for candy and jelly beans (not the same, for the purpose of writing this entry) were also eaten in their entirety. Jelly beans didn't seem overly popular before, but this time, people dug into them at a couple specific points, mostly for the purpose of finding specific flavors and eating a bunch at once (cinnamon and coffee come to mind). One guy did bring a package of store-bought chocolate chip cookies, complaining that "last time they were nothing but oatmeal, and not a chocolate chip in sight", but he later clarified that he was a "critical [it starts with 'b']" (unrelated), so I just shrugged it off. There were also several bags of chips from other people - Dan went out for two more bags of Doritos, when I thought the party was nearing an end - and we (four or five people, including me) devoured them within fifteen minutes. I definitely ate too much today, but I'll make do somehow. That's only good things though (and only what I can remember at the moment, at that). What about the bad?

The first and foremost thing on my mind is that one of the bags of cheese breadsticks had gone moldy (the one that wasn't properly sealed when I bought it), and in my infinite wisdom, I just put it back in the fridge, instead of directly into the garbage. Cue going upstairs to make biscuits, if I recall, and coming back downstairs to have somebody concernedly inform me, and say that "they" were kind of freaking out. I never did learn who "they" were, but I did get eventually get around to throwing the bad bag away, and Maligno took the rest of the good ones at the end of the night, with my consent. Secondly, at some point later on in the evening, somebody came up behind me, and grabbed my tail. I turned slightly, to see somebody in a partial fursuit (head, tail, and paws, that I remember) clutching it, and began a somewhat feeble game of playfully trying to take it back. I wonder if they saw the strained smile on my face... By no means was I freaking out over it, but even those interactions are things I can't deal with, because I do not know what I am supposed to do, and yet I feel like I'm the only one. Alas, that lasted for twenty seconds, if that, before I went back to listening to what somebody else in the same area was talking about. The third and final item in this category is something that didn't bother me at the time, but still is sort of with me right now. Once things started to calm down, I got to walking around a bit again, and when I came back to the first room, opened the fridge to grab another can of pop, and turned around to see Bungee showing a tiny bottle of some yellowish substance to somebody. I asked what it was, and was told "You don't want to know" (with emphasis on the "you", as if it was me personally who couldn't handle knowing), and that is what bothers me, to an extent. Sure, I could go on the assumption that if somebody says that, it's likely in my best interests, but I don't like that decision being made for me at the same time, because more often than not, the person is somewhat likely to be missing a key piece or two of the critera with which to provide an answer. Or it could just be that I don't like being shunned. I'm mostly over it now though, because by relatively the same token, there are developments to what I wrote about last night to include in here. I'll just provide the log though, because at this point, I don't care about trying to work it into a new paragraph.


(3:25:25am) Karadur: I want to say something about this right now, but also don't want to start something right when we're about to fall asleep, so I'm leaving a couple messages instead~
Karadur: What relevance does what people call me at home have? If you propose to start addressing me by my real name, then fine, I can't stop you, but please be advised / aware that it's something I will be weird / feel uncomfortable about until I get used to it. Why? Because my real name isn't something I've been particularly forthcoming with for as long as I can remember. You know it from looking at my train ticket before, yes, but congratulations - you are one of the few, and I have little current desire to change the way I think about that for reasons I don't have enough time to explain right now
Karadur: For the record, I'm more frustrated with myself for feeling this way about it than I am with you for what you asked, but until I reach some resolution (not keeping my real name a secret,say), I would request that you either continue to address me as you have been, or not address me by name at all, and I would also appreciate your understanding if I sound a bit short,but I'm trying not to overcomplicate this (ironic as that sentiment may be)
Karadur: For now though, it's time for bed~
(10:00:30am) Dan Skunk: It's alright. I'll address you however you want and won't tell anyone your real name. Was just thinking of if someone was asking me who you were, or I was looking for you, or had to talk to your family or something for some reason, it would look more like I actually know you and easier to figure out who people were talking about if I actually knew.
Karadur: If you ever had to talk to my family, real name would obviously be preferable, and I have no problem with that. For anybody else though, it depends largely on the scenario, but I would go so far as to say that if they really want to know who I am, you could just direct them to me *shrug*
Dan Skunk: Ok.


I still sort of want to obsess over that, because "Ok" is not the same as "I understand, and I'm fine with that", but I'm willing to leave it be here, in the interest of it not becoming something that I obsess over to the point where I privately fume about it for the next week, then dicuss the matter with him only after I get home. Perhaps with time, I will advance to being able to say such things directly to him, but this is a step up from before for now. I'm very tired now though, and I am sleeping on the couch out in the living room tonight, because Aceheart and Eiko (I actually know some peoples' names...) are staying in Dan's room, and the last time the former stayed the night while I was here, I couldn't get a good sleep, for a certain noise directly associated with sleeping. I'll probably hear about it tomorrow, but it's one night, compared to having the next week, and if I would rather have tomorrow to rest, I am allowed to do that. For the moment, it looks like we (Dan and I, at least) might be going out to see Spiderman with a couple people who were at the meet today, but only if we're feeling up to it, so that could be something. I haven't forgotten about what he and I discussed before though - uncertainty related to plans for doing things with the people who were here from Ottawa, before they have to go back home. Will find out later. All I care about currently is laying down and closing my eyes~

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