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Money is a Source of Stress

Not that it should be at all surprising, because I imagine that's one of the more common sources of stress, but it my case, it's more in regards to other people. Somebody gave Cheryl $5 at work tonight, and Laura said (to me) "Cheryl just got a five-dollar tip!" I was pretty annoyed by that point already, so all I said in response was "I didn't ask", because I didn't. Why don't the people who make the food ever get tips? One theory is that we're all crotchety about it like I am, and thus destroy our chances before they really ever came into being, but I feel it's still a valid point. I fumed over that for a bit though, and eventually got over it, right about at the point where there were no orders for long enough for me to give the floor a much-needed sweep, and now, I know it happened, and remember how I felt about it, but don't care remotely as much. That's just one though. The other is Dan. It's been coming for quite a while (more or less since I was there in August), but I'm getting extremely tired of his entries in here that are nothing more than "I found [amount of money] today". Right off, I am obviously both jealous and envious, because I want the same sort of thing for myself, and harbor a certain unfounded malice against him for repeatedly getting lucky, but it's come to the point where I need to figure out what to do, as this feels like the sort of thing that really could lead me down the same path I've gone with other friends in the past. For the moment, I'll wait to see what I feel like tomorrow morning. If I'm still sore then, I'll just send him a message in MSN to say "those entries are getting really annoying", and hope that's enough. Him knowing how I feel won't change his luck toward finding money, but it might make it so that if and when he posts a similar entry in the future, I know he knows how I feel, thus enabling me to hopefully just ignore it. Should that fail, I could just remove him from my friends list here. It's not like he posts much else, and it could be the first step toward doing something I was thinking about on the way home from work. Where will that leave me for the future though? If I go there in November, I can't refuse to go out anywhere with him on the off chance he'll find money and that will spoil my mood, and if I allow this to get to the point where I have to talk to him every single time that makes me upset in order to get past it, I might as well save myself the trouble and stop talking to him now.

That said, I'm also incredibly selfish. It was barely a month ago that he told me he spent almost all his money for August while I was there, and had very little to last for the rest of the month. It may be a new month now, but I should be happy for him. Now he has a little more to work with, right? I only wish I believed that. It's the truth, to be sure, but... I'm not sure where to go now. The one thing I find with all of this though is that it kind of comes down to putting all of my eggs in one basket again. If they were better distributed - if I had more friends, and / or more to do with my time - it would probably not bother me as much, because I'd have other, arguably better things to think about. To illustrate, I'm annoyed with Dan for always finding money, but if I was able to keep in contact with Chris and Xion in the same way as I do Dan, that would make for one person who kept finding money, and two who didn't. Maybe if I did more than went to work, slept, and worked on Picross / watched downloaded TV shows too. It stands to reason that Dan always finds money because he goes out for pretty long walks almost every day. When was the last time I did that, at the same frequency? That I can recall right now, a couple Winters ago, when I was in search of Bugles. Even then, I didn't find any money though, which is another point. Up until August, him finding money was a fairly uncommon thing. It still seemed to happen more for me than him, but it wasn't to the point where he'd post a new entry every week saying I found [amount]!" As such, unless it was still happening then, and he just didn't mention it, it comes and goes. This is still pretty ridiculous though. Dan? You found $20. Congratulations. I hate you, but not really. It's me I have a problem with.

Setting that aside, I think I'd be safer not leaving my room at all until tomorrow afternoon. I came home to find a note on my door from Naomi saying "I need your help with my computer", and I have absolutely no interest in any of that. Even if I could help, I just got home from work. Perhaps by posting this now, I'll be better prepared to help her tomorrow, but still, why should knowing the most about computers out of everyone in the house make me obligated to help? That said, I don't know what the problem is, or if she even has one. Maybe she's filled up her main partition, and needs the one for backup files shrunk, or maybe she's figuratively blown the thing to bits again, and needs to have Windows reinstalled for I think the 6th time. I might try going downstairs for milk for a bowl of cereal (I was under the impression that there would be muffins left when I got home, as there were a couple tins of blueberry muffins on the counter when I left earlier, but it turns out they were for something else, leaving me with a single kabob and can of Pepsi...), and just tell her I'll deal with it tomorrow, should she happen to hear me.

Just before that though, I should tend to this email Brandon sent while I was away. Per usual, he wants me to buy him more stuff online. After that, I just might have enough time to complete another level in Mario no Super Picross (for SNES). I started yesterday night, completed three levels, deleted everything due to an inconsistency with the solutions (something that I would be the only one to ever notice), and as of earlier this afternoon, have two levels done again. Picross 2 is coming along decently as well, but a little non-monochrome color is a nice change of pace. Purchases first though. I wonder how much they'll be...