Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

Too Tired to Think

I can't really claim to feel like writing a full, proper entry today, so here are some things in point form to give an idea of what's been going on since yesterday. For the record, I just feel kind of tired, possibly because I haven't been sleeping well recently, so not wanting to write more is less a matter of being depressed or such else.

a] As planned, I went to Staples today, and came away with almost exactly what I wanted, plus a pencil sharpener, because I don't know if the person the things I bought will be for has one of those. I also went over to Dollarama for a plastic container, and found... several other curiosities. About five different types of earphones, all of which I assumed would be of questionable quality, along with USB memory card adapters that would've been useful to know about before, and several stacks of DVDs and games, which looked rather interesting. All I bought there though was a container, and a bag of snack mix to nibble on later tonight. After that, I started to head back home, but went to Harvey's for supper first, and talked a bit with two of the people there while I was waiting for my order, which was nice. I haven't been out again since then, but depending on how I feel at 11, and what there is to do then, I might go out to Sobeys for a couple more of those yogurt and fruit bowls.

b] I think I was on the wrong track yesterday. I wrote an entry in here a while back about how me in regards to insecurity is currently at the point where I've realized I get insecure because my definitions don't match up with those of other people, right? I tried explaining the same thing to somebody else recently, and used computers as an example. If I feel that I have an interest in computers, it's what I do with them that makes me feel that way, so if and when I see somebody else who also says they like computers, but who does more, or other things than what I do, those actions are what one really must "possess" to have an interest in computers, so I am just pretending. Keeping that in mind, replace "computers" with "the way I interact with Dan that makes us friends". I've been going off thinking that he and Blake are better friends than he and I because they cuddle - Blake does something with Dan that I don't - and only on the way to work last night realized how that fit in with what I'd described before. Even so, however, I would still like to be able to cuddle, but as far as I know, the option is still there. Dan isn't comfortable initiating it, and I'm just... not comfortable though, so it hasn't happened. Yet. Unfortunately, knowing those things hasn't helped me to dispense with the way I feel any, so I sent Dan a message when I got home last night to say that I'd left a note for Mary about February, and then closed Instantbird, asking him to send me an email, should he have need to contact me between then and whenever I open the program again. That could be as soon as tomorrow, but for right now, it's better to just step back a bit and think.

This won't be the first time that's happened, yes? It doesn't help very much to write an entry in list form when there are really only two main things to mention. Maybe it's slightly worth mentioning to say that I'm trying to make up my mind about going to Sobeys later. I want a couple more yogurt bowls, but I think I could get those at Real Canadian Superstore tomorrow. Go tonight, and look for more of those packages of breadsticks and crackers with cheese? Perhaps, but uncertainty isn't going to get me anywhere. I'll think about it, and in the meantime, find something else to do. I rather like the idea of going through those links to pages of scary stories again, and reading more of those. It's a start~

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