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Another One of These

Being that it's already 11:30, I've left myself with not much time to write again. This hasn't been an entirely good day, but things turned out well in some respects, so let's see what there is to mention here...

I may have to write another protected entry soon enough to speculate on why I can't go two days anymore without going from happy to sad, or sad to happy, but in the meantime, it happened again last night. I came home from work, and after a few other things, asked Squeeze how her night was going, because before I left, Evo mentioned that he and Totts might be going over to her place. She replied to say that they were still there at the time, and... I tried to play it off like no big deal at first, but that lasted for all of a couple seconds. I said I didn't want to distract her then, and after convincing myself that it wouldn't hurt, added that I wished I was there, but presumed I would still have the chance eventually, and things fell apart right after that. I didn't send her any more messages after she said her apartment just wasn't in the best shape for meeting somebody new, and after feeling sorry for myself for a bit, laid down to go to sleep. I woke up at least a couple hours later, and laid in bed for what felt like another hour, not being able to get back to sleep. Eventually I opened my laptop and sent her an email that started with "regarding what we talked about most recently in Skype, I'm sorry I asked", did things for another hour or so, and was finally tired enough to go back to sleep (by that point it was ~9:30am), which was fortunately better than the sleep I had before. As with concerns regarding Totts before she added me to her contact list, I'm placing far too much stock into going over to Squeeze's place and meeting / hanging out with her, Totts, and Evo. A ridiculous amount of stock, if I may. We talked a bit earlier this afternoon. She replied to my email at the beginning of that conversation, but I haven't read the full thing yet. I don't enjoy being like this, but I honestly don't know of any other way to handle situations in which I can't have or get something that I want. Why couldn't I have gone to meet her at 7-11 that one night we talked in MSN? At least then I'd have met her, and Totts and Evo would come into the same picture eventually. I'll definitely need to think about that some more.

On a different note, as planned, I went to Bulk Barn for cheese powder before work last night. I brought the container along with me, so I could somewhat more accurately fill it, and took both it and the powder back to work without issue. On the way home, I had quite a bit more stuff to carry, what with having taken three boxes from work to wrap gifts in, along with my uniform and those other two things, but I still did pretty well. Managed to make it to 7-11 and stop there for snacks without issue, which was my biggest concern, but then, with the house well in sight at the end of the walk, I dropped the container on the ground, and it cracked. It was fortunately empty at the time, but yeah. Go figure. I went to the Dollarama in the mall in hopes of finding another container earlier today, but they only had smaller ones, so I had to wait until ~5:30 when Adam had some running around to do to go to the one on Grand Ave, and find what I wanted there. I was very careful in getting it home afterward, and now, it's all wrapped / taped up with the cheese powder inside, and should remain that way until Christmas, after which it'll be his responsibility to take care of it. As for other gifts, I've only two things left on my list, and I can't do anything about either quite yet. One is coming to me, in the mail, and the other is perishable, so I want to wait until the 23rd, and probably pick it up while we're out at Real Canadian Superstore.

I'm sure there are other things I could mention if I had more time, but I do not, so this'll be all for today / tonight. In all honesty, that business described in the first paragraph has had me depressed enough that I haven't wanted to do very much all day, so I'm glad to at least have most of my gifts wrapped. My room is in a sorry state for it, but until something changes with Skype here, I have the rest of the night to work on that. If only I weren't in the process of making more of a mess at the moment...