In a different direction, something has been bothering me for the past little while now, but I still don't know what to say about it, if anything. Going back a week or so, I bought a couple big packages of string from Walmart, and a clipboard from Staples, and since then a few other items meant for making bracelets of my own. Thus far, I have the very first one I made (the spiral sort such as the several Squeeze made for me, which didn't turn out very well because I pulled on the knots too tightly, and kept going farther than I should've), a flat rainbow pattern (which Squeeze started for me, and that I turned into a strap for my Vita), a thick spiral keychain made with blue, pink, and orange thread (I'll keep it, but the spiral didn't turn out, which is a problem I ran into with the very first one as well), and finally, a shorter but equally thick keychain made with blue, dark gray, light gray, and white string, which I'm still using now. It has one flaw, but that's something I can overlook. Making the flat rainbow bracelet was pretty frustrating, because I didn't and still don't have the proper technique, but in the meantime, Squeeze has seemingly been going all out making as many bracelets as she can in that pattern, which have all thus far turned out alot better than mine.
I shouldn't be surprised, because she's been making them for alot longer than I have, and as I told her earlier today, I feel like I should work to perfect the spiral pattern first before moving onto something more advanced, but in the meantime, I don't know what to do. Every time she mentions working on a new bracelet, or wants to show me one or more that she recently completed, I feel like figuratively pushing her away, and telling her to stop bragging. I appreciated her encouragement in telling me that she was impressed with my attempts thus far, but when it comes time for her to show me something, it really frustrates me, and I don't know what to do. On one hand, the strongest feeling I have is to try to not be envious, because I like that she shows me those things, and I feel like it'd be an affront to effectively slap her in the face with something that originally started out as a way of her saying "Thanks for being my friend". Then we have the problem of how he's still willing to make bracelets / anklets for me. It's not that she's willing that's a problem, but rather how I have everything needed to attempt to do that myself, so instead of relying on other people to do the work for me, I should put in my own time and effort. If I could truly be bothered enough by this to try my hand at making another flat bracelet, I might not be writing so much about the matter right now, but as that hasn't yet been the case, I don't know what to do. I intend to bring all of that stuff to Toronto, as something to possibly work on at the furmeet, instead of eating too many snacks, so I suppose we'll see there. I think I know enough now to make a mostly proper spiral bracelet. It's just a matter of finding the time to cut the string and really get down to work on it. As for Squeeze showing me hers, I'm still not sure what to do there, but I kind of hope she reads this, so I can feel a little less uncomfortable. I want to be able to continue to share that activity / interest with her, but I'd like to find a way to do away with my feelings of competitiveness.
Those concerns aside though, it's 7:30am already. What have I been doing with my night?! Going backward, I completed several more puzzles in Picross 2, ate what would appear to be too many Tic Tacs and pop, had a couple pitas and a bowl of cereal for supper, and then mostly just sat around playing various Super Mario World hacks. I briefly considered ordering supper from Little Caesars or Pizza Tonite (potato wedges would've been nice), and talked to Squeeze for long enough to tell her that I didn't have much to talk about (refer to the paragraph and cut above, for further information), and that's pretty much been it. Did I take advantage of having an unexpected night off to do something I wouldn't have been able to otherwise? Not really. I still haven't started on a list of things to pack, and did something else that I won't be able to repair / correct until summertime, but overall, it's been a pretty unremarkable night. I suppose to that end, I should be glad I'm still awake at this hour (it shows I didn't go to bed early), but I'd be alot more okay with that if I didn't work over supper tomorrow. I still need to go check my laundry, just in case it wasn't put in the dryer, which I suppose is a good enough place to end this. Tomorrow night after work will most likely be used for baking, and going to 7-11 afterward if it isn't too late, but I'll see about that then. All I really need to be concerned about right now is waking up at a decent time. Perhaps I'll actually set my alarm. It couldn't hurt, at least for tonight~