Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

It's a Familiar Feeling

It certainly doesn't take very long for me to find myself back in this position, does it? The time right now is 4:02pm, and same as yesterday, I start work at 5. I woke up at 2, and with the subsequent couple hours, worked on Picross 2 a bit more, but I wish I'd worked on this first. For that matter, I rather wish I could find what was different about Thursday night. Coming home and having to unpack was about what I expected, but for the first time in quite a while, when I sat down with my laptop afterward, I actually felt like I had nothing to do, which is what led to starting to write a reply to George. Unfortunately, I haven't touched that since then. I sent Dan a couple messages when I got home from work last night, and then talked to Squeeze until nearly 4am, but other than that, I feel like I'm right back where I was before I left now. It's not so much boredom, and I know that by this time next week, I'll have sent an email to Michele asking if and when she wants me to come back, but I do miss just hanging out. I see in Skype that Totts is in Ridgetown today, and part of me actually wants to ask Squeeze if she's up for company again when I get home from work, so it can just be us. Problem is that there isn't currently anything that I want to do with her specifically. Like I said in our conversation last night, the one thing I'd really like is to be back in Toronto with Dan, just sitting on the couch in the living room or laying in bed talking about things. I just can't picture it being the same at Squeeze's place, because the environment there is different. Maybe if and when she's confident enough to put her living room in order, but still...

On a mostly related note, talking last night was pretty fun / interesting. I mentioned where things stood regarding those messages she sent me after reading the protected entry I posted in my entry yesterday, and those were one of the main things that we discussed. I think I explained what happened properly, but still, I just had to know that she understood what I was referring to, and to that end, asked a certain general question, and went to hide behind my pillow for several minutes. She said "Quite honestly, the thought of you hiding behind your pillow is cute~ :B", which I do appreciate, but overall, in as good a way as possible, it's just fun being me. She also said that if it makes me any more comfortable with the thought of talking about such things "I've talked to quite a few other people whom have trusted me with their secrets", but I think I dislike that, if anything. I don't want to be just another person on the list of people who have told her about personal things, nor do I want to be lumped into that group of "quite a few other people" for having shared one or more things with her. I didn't and still haven't told her that though, so if you're reading this, Squeeze, that is something. I appreciate that you were likely just trying to tell me that I could trust you, but for what it's worth, I already trusted you. I just haven't thought about telling (close) friends about things of this exact nature before.

I'd rather not have an abrupt ending to this entry as well, but in order to not be late getting to work, I need to head out within the next couple minutes. Hopefully tonight I'm able to ask Mary about going over having three weeks off, and with any luck, something a little more interesting than last night's events will unfold when I get home. If not, Picross 2 works, but it's a little monotonous...

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