Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

A One-Sided Entry

We're really getting into this, are we? For the fourth time in a row, I went to Squeeze's place last night, but unlike the other three times, it was just her and I. No Totts, or Evo, or Brandi, which was really nice. I'm more or less used to the first two now, and they've actually been leaving before me for the most part recently, but Brandi is something else. She's got alot of energy, and is fun to hang out with as such, but like I told Squeeze yesterday (and she agreed), I can only take so much of that. We got into a bottle fight back on Wednesday. How, I could not recall, but I was beating at her, and she was hitting me, and Squeeze seemed to just be trying to keep out of the way. Then I put a picture I took from work on the back of the toilet seat, which Squeeze didn't find until I'd already left, and that was fun, but it's not what I wanted to write about.

Possibly as far back as Monday, I wanted to give Squeeze an actual hug, because I'd been enjoying (more than normal) talking to her online the couple days before that. I never did give her one though, possibly because I was just too shy to do it in front of other people, and then, back on Tuesday or Wednesday, she said the same thing upon my getting home - that she wanted to give me a hug goodbye, but was too shy herself. One would think we'd finally give each other a hug yesterday, because we were there on our own, but I completely forgot, as I presumed she did as well, until I got home and mentioned it. In her words, she "chickened out", and I accepted that, but before going to bed (and after I told her I was going to bed), I did tell her that the significance was not lost on me of her wanting to give me a hug even though she previously said she wasn't one for hugging. Rather cryptically, she responded with only ":B", which I shrugged off, because I was half-asleep when I first saw it, but then when I woke up, and after she signed into Skype and we started talking again, I just had to ask what it meant. She responded by saying "I'm not quite sure how I want to answer that <3", and off we went from there. The topic mostly fell off to the side, until I asked again, and again after that, at which point she said "...I want to answer your hugging question I'm just not sure which words to use...". Skip ahead a little farther, and apparently it's related to (paraphrased) "something [she] mentioned before, but which hasn't been brought up again in a while". Like I told her, I have my suspicions, but saying "This is what I think. Am I right?" when I have to leave for work in less than half an hour would not be a good idea.

Along somewhat similar lines, I still have thoughts of my own to eventually explain to her, stemming from having bleached my hair, and her telling me that she really liked how it looked. I'm honestly curious whether or not that's been a thing from her on Wednesday and last night as well. She didn't say anything if it was, and to reveal the very beginning of my thoughts, I like (in a certain way) that she likes how it looks, more than I might like the same sort of comment coming from somebody else. What does that mean, if anything? I'm not sure, but that's largely what the rest of my thoughts on the matter are related to. Apart from that though, it was just fun being able to stay there later than normal, without having to worry about being up in time to go to Heart and Stroke the next morning. Aside from playing games, we listened to some music - even the album (Ever After by Marianas Trench) that I've been wanting to let her hear for a while, and she liked it enough to have me send it to her, which was kind of neat, and talked for a bit about things that I can remember absolutely none of before I left. Then I went home, and without even taking my backpack off, washed, dried, and put away the dishes that were still there from supper, because although Mom washed the rest, I didn't want Naomi to have an incredible fit about it. Finally, I talked to Squeeze a bit more, and laid down for what ended up being an extremely nice, relaxing sleep. I had several interesting dreams, one of which directly concerned Squeeze, so I told her about them in the morning, but even then, it was just completely relaxing, which I've said already. Maybe that's because I was up 'til 8am, or maybe that's because I'd done something fun / enjoyable (talking to her) right before going to bed. With luck, the same will happen tonight, but I'm not counting on it, as I can't see myself being awake until 8 again.

As for things not directly related to Squeeze and I, I'm considering using next Tuesday night to reorganize my room. It's to the point where I really need to clean and vacuum in here, but if I can do both that and switch everything around in the same night, it'd be that much better, and the weather feels just about right for it too. I suppose if not then, there's a better chance of it happening on Thursday, but one way or the other, I want to do that. Secondly would be closing with Mary tonight, which I'm almost looking forward to. She ended up working the entire day (literally, from open to close) on Wednesday, because Manoah called in sick for his shift, and things went well in spite of it, so... now I get two more. Compared to closing with James, who isn't as fast, closing with Mary is a nice treat, and I find I like the change of mostly just being left to do my work instead of talking to the other person throughout the shift. Something unexpected (but good) happened back on Wednesday as well, but I'm keeping that a surprise, because I just love surprises so much. Other than that though, I really just need to leave for work now. I'm surprised it's as late as it is already, but I think I've said everything I wanted to, so hopefully I'll be mostly undistracted. Probably not, in all honesty, but at least the thoughts would be mostly new~

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