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A Very Interesting / Enjoyable Day

I thought circumstances last night might make it a bit difficult to really actually *talk* to Squeeze / enjoy her company again, but looking back over the entire day now, I'm pretty pleased with how things turned out. When I first got there, around 5pm, I encountered somebody else in her bedroom sitting on her bed, who I never expected to see, which made things a little awkward at first. One part of my brain wanted him to leave, because I had the feeling Squeeze didn't particularly want him to be there either, but the other part stepped in with reason and said that even if she did feel that way, it wasn't my place to say anything. He ended up making some offhanded comment to me about how I must know better than anybody else from working there and all that the food at work sucks, and... I'm still not sure exactly how to respond to that. It shouldn't bother me, because I do just work there, and making sure everybody has a positive opinion of the food is well out of my job description, but on the other, I work there. I'm not going to think the food is *bad*, and to be frank, if you dislike it so much, don't eat there anymore. It's not like that's the only fast food place in Chatham.

Anyway, after he left, I was invited to try laying down on her bed, because the proper mattress for it had just been dropped off earlier that day, and... it was comfortable. We ended up laying there for a fair few minutes, talking about various things (but not coming into direct physical contact, since I feel that's important to mention), and it was just really nice. I was expecting Totts and Evo to already be there by the time I got there, but they ended up running into delays, so we had pretty much that entire time to ourselves, outside of a couple phone calls. Maybe I'm just reading into this too much, and the circumstances of the afternoon account entirely for the way things went, but it'll be the first time she's gone to have a shower while I was actually there. I ended up getting Super Mario Galaxy 2 out of my backpack and playing that for a bit, but just... yeah. Then I expected that from having gotten there at 5, we'd be heading over to her mom's place around 6, but no, it wasn't until almost 7:20 that we got ready to go, and were off. Supper, in just a few words, was not what I was expecting, but that made it all that much more enjoyable / interesting. It had more of an effect telling her directly, but I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to sit next to Squeeze, which I wanted both because I knew her best out of everybody in the room, and because with recent things that have been on my mind about her, it felt only right. Unfortunately, even though I / we were able to do that, I ended up meeting somebody (kind of not the right word to use, but it works) even cuter: Patches. When we just got there, I wanted to find something to occupy myself with that didn't involve my PSP, and I noticed a cat laying over at the far end of the couch, so I reached over and started petting her, and by the end of the night, she was right up curled into a ball in my lap while we were eating supper. I feel even more special for what Squeeze told me - that she normally *never* cuddles like that with anybody but her, and maybe it just had to do with the way I smelled, but she was really cute. As for supper, since I seem to have not gotten to that yet, it was actually really good, but I can only imagine how it should've been based on Squeeze's mom saying she was really unhappy with how the cabbage rolls turned out. To say something that I still feel says everything on its own, I ate more than I was expecting to. Then had dessert on top of that, and got a hell of a lot of whipped cream on my pie. But so did Totts. All around, it was a really enjoyable evening, and I'm definitely glad that I went now. That's still not even scratching the surface of what happened when we were all back at Squeeze's place though. Not even slightly.

The first thing that sticks out there to me is that we all piled into the elevator - me included - to go back upstairs. Squeeze directly observed that fact, and I didn't know how to respond. In a way, I didn't want to be away from her even for that short time - I know it's silly, and if a certain person is reading this, they're going to laugh at me, but it did cross my mind that even if the elevator stalled, we would be stuck together then - and unbeknownst to her, I've actually become more comfortable with taking the one in her building when I need to. I brought a good three weeks worth of pies and torts to them on Sunday earlier this week, and those were so heavy that I couldn't envision taking the stairs and not huffing and puffing by the time I got to the top for it, so I took the elevator. Similarly, yesterday, when I had a big cardboard box for her (part of an inside joke), my backpack with everything inside of it was inside that box, and it was awkwardly large, so I couldn't picture taking it up the stairs, so I took the elevator then too. It's coming to be fine, really. Pressing the buttons myself gives me more of a feeling of being in control, but instead of getting panicked that the doors aren't going to open because it seems to take forever after the display changes to light up the 4, I remind myself that it's just leveling, and indeed, a short time later, there's that gentle plop, and the doors shudder open. Why am I so dramatic about this? I mean, really, self. Take the stairs if you like, or the elevator if you must. The fact that you've written an entire paragraph on it is... weird, and that's most definitely a reference to not an inside joke, but an inside... understanding <3

Anyway then, we all went back into her apartment, and things became a little more interesting. Brandi was there to stay the night, so I'd already resigned myself to the idea that Squeeze and I wouldn't have time to actually talk / interact in that "If anybody else could see / hear us, they would assume we were more than friends" way. Hell, Totts even fell asleep in her bed, which I was a little put out by at first, because we couldn't even properly play games, then. On the somewhat better side of things, Evo was all the way out in the living room testing the couch to see if it was bedbug-free, making the bedroom less crowded than it might have been, and still making for something that was significant to hear for me. He and Squeeze were talking about what it had been like when Seraph - the guy she was last in a relationship with - lived there. I heard things about what it had been like that honestly hadn't occurred to me before, then Evo re-told the story about how he had rushed over faster than ever before when Squeeze told Seraph he needed to go / that it wasn't working out. She then observed / told him that I actually knew before he (Evo) did, and I felt satisfied, in an odd way. We did really talk about that situation. For a good several days (if not longer) we talked about how she felt, because I wanted to try to help her work out what to do, so to hear her tell somebody else that made me feel special, in that truly significant way. I would imagine it didn't mean alot for her to say, but I definitely did notice. As for the not having the time to ourselves that I would've liked thing, well, more developments happened there too. For one, per usual lately, Evo ended up getting Totts up and out the door when he decided they should just head home for the night, leaving Brandi, Squeeze, and I. Brandi was still awake at that point, but she wasn't for too much longer, and... things happened. Probably while she was on her way to falling asleep, I tried to make a vague but still specific enough that I hoped she would understand comment to Squeeze about how I felt about her using "irony" / "ironic" inappropriately. I think I said I liked it at first, but trailed off feeling kind of dismayed that I couldn't say exactly what I wanted to, lest Brandi assume I was saying more than I was, and then tried again with an almost equally vague "I like it in *that* way". Squeeze laughed to herself a bit, which to me instantly meant that she knew what I was talking about, and indeed, a moment later she responded with "Is it... 'c'?" Yes. The word is "cute". I can't correct her using those words incorrectly because I don't fully understand the correct way to use them myself, so instead, I can only just smile, and away it goes from there. The best part of all of this though? Brandi may not have been entirely awake, but was still alert enough to tell us "No... keep talking...", which was fun in that way that doesn't really bother me. For what it's worth, we actually did end up talking, but that's deserving of starting a new paragraph.

Following that brief exchange, we played another couple matches in Smash Bros. - I was still getting annoyed with the game not being interesting or fun anymore, until we tried playing as characters that neither of us normally use - then she went out to the bathroom and for a cigarette from there, and I pretty much ended up following her. I think my thoughts were going along the same lines as they were before - that I would rather have been close to her in that moment instead of just off doing things on my laptop or whatever again, and what did that lead to, but more talking, in about the same way we talked when I had a voice chat when I got home from work on Wednesday night. There were periods of silence then too - less awkward with us both being in the same room - but otherwise we just talked. I told her what remark I'd thought of while we were out at her mom's place involving pumpkins that I said would be better left until we could talk in private, which is significant to mention here, because it feels like something that even before I would've been averse to telling her directly. We both made vague references to the conversation we had last night, and how neither of us could believe we'd talked about what we did, but were alright with it as well, and feelings also came up, in a way that makes me feel much more comfortable about the idea of something more. She also told me about how she had been intrigued to meet me before she knew bar none anything about who I was, which made me feel (but I didn't tell her) that maybe in some way, we were meant to meet each other, and just... it was another truly memorable conversation. Even moreso on my part, because as I described to her, between the voice chat we had on Wednesday, the conversation we had last night, and the actual close hug we gave each other before I left to go home yesterday, I didn't want any of those to end. The only reason they did was because I knew I needed to go home, as the sun was already mostly up by then. One other specific thing that I remember her saying and do want to specifically mention in here went as such: Brandi, just being herself, started petting my hair while I was laying down face-first on Squeeze's bed when we got back home from dinner, and from that somehow came to feel that it would be fitting to nickname me "Fluffy", because apparently my hair is really soft. I don't know. She's weird, but that's not a bad thing. Anyway, all the time she was petting my hair (keeping in mind I *was* laying face-first in bed and was pretty much just resigned to what was going on, I kind of hoped Squeeze would've come over and joined in, because I would've actually liked it in that way if she had started. Skip ahead to the conversation we had out in the living room / dining area (yeah... you know what I'm talking about, Squeeze), and she showed me a note. As I understand it, the two of them wanted to talk, and Brandi asked her if it was about the hair thing. She (Squeeze) wrote "Yes" up in the corner, then down below it is much more nicely written text that says "I was all like D: I wanna do that!" I ended up telling her I wanted to at least take a picture of it before I went home, but she said I could just take the actual note, so what do I have here now? Sure, it's just a note, but I find what it refers to really cute, so I'm glad to have it.

After that, well... For the second night in a row I heard her wake-up call, which means it was at least 7am by the time I left. Just after 7, if I don't recall, because she wanted to say something to me which she has previously only been able to say to herself, and I wanted to really just give her another long hug, because that was the best way I could think of to honestly reciprocate. That ended up turning into giving her a kiss on the cheek as well, and she kissed my neck, but from my point of view none of that was forced in any way. I did it because I wanted to. Under other circumstances, I might have been concerned about Brandi randomly waking up to go to the bathroom and seeing us hugging, but I was completely alright with the idea then. A little concerned about saying something that I wouldn't want to leave alone, and have to stop hugging Squeeze to respond to, but... yeah. Five times she said that she should let me go so I could go home, and every one of those five times, I agreed, but just kept hugging her. It's kind of random to add just at the end here, but when we got back to her place after having supper, I laid down on the bed, but putting my head on my side didn't work with my ears (the furred ones), so I put them under the bed for safekeeping. Skip ahead what had to be an hour, and I finally noticed Squeeze had randomly put them on. My initial thought was not dissimilar to what I told her while we were talking, but had anybody else done that, I would've been annoyed with them for not having the decency to ask first, and even then, probably would've said "No, those are mine", but with Squeeze, just... I'm okay with it. I even liked it more in a way for being okay with her wearing them.

Other than that, I feel like if I took the time to think, I could still say more, but nothing comes immediately to mind, so perhaps this is good enough just here. It's also 7:10, which gives me just enough time to wrap this up and post it before heading off to work at a decent time, and... yeah. I'm sure I'll hear about it from James if yesterday did end up being really busy, but I know I enjoyed myself with what I / we ended up doing, so having that to think back on should help with whatever the night brings. Let's go find out~