Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

The Days Are Blurring Together

Similar to the remark I made last night, it's kind of hard to believe that only 12 hours ago, Squeeze and I had just been jarred out of our snuggling by her alarm going off. I told myself I should leave at 7, but ended up being delayed until 8, and didn't get to sleep until 10am after that, but such concerns are unimportant up against the fact that it was an enjoyable night, and not just for the reasons that one might expect.

From a couple minutes into my shift at work on, I had one idea firmly in mind: go to see her / hang out after work, but instead of just going right to playing games or talking or whatever, wash the dishes that were stacked up in her kitchen. I really liked the idea, because I didn't feel obligated toward it in any way, instead figuring that it would be one less thing on her mind to get them done, and I could ask for her help with drying and putting them away, both because she knows where everything goes in her kitchen while I don't, and because that would make it so that me doing them in their entirety wouldn't eventually come to bother her. Besides, it was also kind of a general excuse to take my shirt off - apparently me shirtless is a sight to behold, I should add - just because similar with taking my socks off there, that's a sign of comfort, but I didn't want her to read too much into it based on recent developments. In the strictest sense of the phrase, we are more than just friends again, but same as last time, lovely concerns are filling my head, which I'm doing my best to deal with. Alot of them have to do with getting really nervous / anxious when I try to think ahead, but I've always had a problem with looking too far into the future, so maybe this is just a more pronounced version of that. I get really anxious about the idea of telling Totts and Evo what's happened, but only because they might assume that something more than where things are now is happening, and I don't want there to be that misunderstanding. I really like Squeeze, but a big part of me just can't get over the idea of my preference for keeping to myself being compromised.

Anyway though, dishes were washed, and following that, I did what I've been on-and-off wanting to for a while: ordered supper from Pizza Tonite. Perhaps it'll be because I was there instead of at home, or because I didn't want to seem like too much of a pig (that's quite a crude phrase), but for the first time since I've started ordering from there, I didn't ask for an order of garlic bread with cheese & bacon, but it was still a nice treat. Potato wedges and breaded fried mushrooms & fries were shared, which was a nice treat (and honestly not something I'd have felt right doing if I hadn't washed the dishes), and in somewhat of an amusing way, there was a new delivery guy (maybe it's because of the night, or because I was there instead of at home), who observed that I was "that guy", and asked the usual tail and ears related question. I really like how people think they're going to offend me by asking. Maybe they're just embarrassed with themselves for taking a passing interest in something they think would otherwise be seen as weird, and are transferring that supposed embarrassment over to me when they ask, but I'm also thinking too much, and it doesn't bother me one way or the other. In fact, the only other thing I really remember about that was that Squeeze had been hiding around the corner while I was paying, so I assumed I'd be able to turn and give her the food to take, but then she was gone, and yeah. I don't know exactly why, but it was kind of a cute moment. After that, we ate, and then... the idea of games just fell off to the side. We did talk quite a bit more, and I had my hair petted in a way that more than made up for last week, and then discussed possible plans for later this week. Her mom is supposed to be taking Conner overnight so she can have a break, and what would she like to do but get drunk, of course. Last I knew, she was trying to decide between Thursday and Friday night, but as I suggested, I would like Thursday more, because I could meet up with her at the mall to go get more energy drinks there, then head back home for a bit so I can actually have her over here for a bit, then head back to her place, and actually have help with carrying some heavy things I have for her, Totts, and Evo. The only issue with that is that Totts and Evo wouldn't have the money for alcohol until Friday, and even though I wouldn't drink one way or the other, I do work on Friday.

Anyway though, considering that I still haven't been downstairs for more than a minute today, and I'd like to check to see if any mail came for me I'm going to end this here. There are most definitely backups to be worked on after that, but for the moment, Gmail Backup is being slow, and the next item in my list was exporting my journal entries for March, which are complete now, but wouldn't feel right if I didn't write one first. Now that that's taken care of, well... Let's go get on with other things~

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