Karadur Inacu  (karadur) wrote,
Karadur Inacu 

This is a First

It's just past quarter after 2 right now, and I just got off the phone with Squeeze. I woke her up, and I feel bad for that, but I'll be heading over there at ~3, because... something came up. Something on my end of things, I should specify, and it's entirely between us, but if I try to go to work without addressing it first, I'm going to have a bad night, and I don't want that. Hell, to put it like this, if I try to go to work without seeing / talking face to face with her first, I'm liable to want even less to go over there for general hanging out or whatever else after, and that would just make it harder on both of us. I would really like to say more (at least as much as can be said without getting specific), but to put it this way, she has a very keen sense of observation when it comes to me feeling bad about things. Yeah, having closed Skype may have been a more obvious touch in this case, but so be it. Had I not woken up to find an email from her, I might be having an entirely different day right now (well, entirely different half hour), but that wasn't the case, and really, it means more to me than I can express that she did that.

Looking in a slightly different direction now though (so I can try to not have only those things on my mind), I'm slightly concerned about work later. Yesterday afternoon, I slept until ~5:30. I didn't end up falling asleep until probably 10:30am today because I just kept tossing and turning, and then woke up at 2. Yeah. Were it not for that email, I would have tried to lay back down and go back to sleep (I am still really glad that things are turning out as they are though), but instead, I've had maybe three and a half hours of sleep, and I don't know if that's enough. As a matter of time in general, obviously not, but for the time being, anxiety and other similar feelings are keeping me pretty well awake. I really wonder if Heather will actually show up tonight. She didn't yesterday, and Danny was on as the acting manager, which irked me to no end, so I told him to tell Manoah that if necessary, I could start at 5 instead of 8, but after thinking some more about it, it makes more sense to think that if they needed a manager tonight, Mary would come in again. She was just busy yesterday, and to say it like this, I place more importance on going to talk to Squeeze this afternoon than I do starting work early. This feels like the wrong time to make this observation as well, but I did say before that so many good things happening had me worried that something bad was around the corner, yes? Indeed.

I suppose in the meantime though, I could go look for something to eat to bring over there. I seriously suggested bringing the rest of my bagels and English muffins, along with a case or two of juice over there, because that way I already have food / juice there if I want something to eat or drink, but right now, I'm only going on the assumption that I will be hungry before work. Maybe I should think instead about what time I'll have to leave. ~6:30 sounds good, but just... yeah. Interesting turns of events and things recently. I wonder if I can stop worrying at the back of my mind about something bad happening now~

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